Imogen:  Well that was fun wasn’t it Imogen?

Hermione: Can’t hear you. You’ll have to speak up. My ears are ringing.

Imogen:  DIDN’T WE HAVE FUN?

Hermione: That isn’t quite how I’d describe it.

Imogen: You’ll need to get used to going on shoots. Hugo loves shooting.

Hermione: I think I’d rather stay at home and learn how to use the Aga.

Imogen: No. We women have to give support. We bring the fruit cake, ham sandwiches and flasks of tea for the beaters. And proper food for the shooters – champagne, caviar and Krug.

Hermione: I’m surprised anyone can eat anything after seeing those piles of dead birds.

Imogen: You’ll get used to it.

Hermione: I don’t think so. I’m not really cut out for this sort of thing.

Imogen: Give it time.

Hermione: But we killed so many living things. And some of them didn’t die at once. I’m sure they suffered.

Imogen: A necessary cull. It preserves the countryside the way it’s meant to be.

Hermione: I don’t understand. The final bag was 1,471 pheasants, two wood pigeon, a crow, two rabbits and a cat. How does that help to preserve the countryside?

Imogen: It brings in the right sort of people like Lord Hamptonshire.

Hermione:  Erm, right sort of person? Didn’t he shoot one of the beaters?

Imogen: The man shouldn’t have been wearing that stupid cap. He looked like a deer.

Hermione: Not from where I was standing.

Imogen: Lord H does get a little over-excited. His monocle gets steamed up. Anyway, no real harm done. The doctor reckons the man will retain over 50% vision in his right eye.

Hermione: I hope there will be some generous compensation.

Imogen: We’ll send him a couple of brace of pheasant for Christmas.

Hermione: Surely he merits a rather more than that.

Imogen: Remember one is running a shoot not a charity, Hermione.

Hermione: Hmmm.

Vere: Hallo you two girls. Chewing the fat eh? Hwah. Hwah. Jolly good shoot what?

Hermione: We were concerned about the beater.

Vere: Lord Hamptonshire is a little flamboyant isn’t he? Hwah. Hwah.

Hermione: A little careless I think.

Vere: Hwah. Hwah.  Great character. He loved it when you called his Purdey a rifle.

Hermione: I’m still not quite sure what the difference is.

Vere: About twenty thousand pounds. Hwah. Hwah.

Hermione: Perhaps he should give the Purdey to the beater.

Vere: Hwah. Hwah. Very quick eh? Hugo’s a lucky boy to have a girl like you. Hwah. Hwah.