On the day we are born, who are we? Are we books that are already written or are we fresh blank pages ready to be written upon?

This question has been floating around in some shape or form for millennia. Is personality and character inherited from our parents, or do they come later, absorbed and shaped by the environment we are raised in? At first glance this might sound like interesting thought experiments, but the answers could have a real impact on society. There are also political and scientific implications.

One of the most controversial, and relatively recent, elements of the nature vs nurture debate is gender roles? Men are strong, aggressive, and unemotional. Women are gentle, domestic, and nurturing. Men drink lager. Women drink wine.

Up until recently this was seen as the natural order of the universe. These were instilled biological traits, pre-installed hardware we couldn’t mess with? But there is increasing push back against these beliefs. Some psychologists now believe these gender traits are not inbuilt or natural and are instead forced upon us because of expectation in society.

This is an extension of an argument that took place over 250 years ago. At that time philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau proclaimed that women were naturally inferior to men, that they were better suited to obeying rules and pleasing men. This conclusion was established after observing children playing. Girls, he noted, had a fondness for dressing up dolls and looking in mirrors. These two activities proved women were obsessed with appearing attractive to the opposite sex. With that, he proposed women should only be educated in satisfying men and domestic duties.

While this sounds shocking by today standards this was readily accepted back then.

His beliefs didn’t go unchallenged, however. The female writer Mary Wollstonecraft had big issues with his findings. She blasted Rousseau’s logic and unscientific methods. Playing with dolls could easily be a learnt behavior and nothing to do with nature. It was a vicious circle that needed to be broken. She was also quick to point out that if women were raised to be inferior, they would continue as inferior. Something that would be bad for society as a whole.

This was a new and revolutionary way of thinking. But in a cruel twist of irony, because she was a woman, her ideas were not taken seriously.

It wasn’t until the second half of the 20th century that her ideas resurfaced again. Initially she became a champion of the feminist movement and sexual equality. Most recently, though, her ideas made waves in the world of child-rearing.

The term gender-neutral parenting usually provokes a vivid reaction. The concept is to allow a child the freedom to explore gender without influences passed on from society. Blue for a boy, pink for a girl is out the window. Some believe it promotes a healthy identity. Others think it is detrimental and harmful, bordering on child abuse.

But there are many ways in which it can be implemented. At the extreme end of the spectrum the child’s biological gender is not revealed to anyone, not to friends, not to close family members. This way all unconscious gender-based behavior is eliminated.

The child is also referred to with the pronoun “they”, until such a time they are ready to identify as a he or she or non-binary. This method of parenting has attracted the most attention. And the most opposition. While these are rare and unique cases they have been reported in the news and have created a bit of a storm.

It must be said, though, there are other less strict types of gender-neutral parenting. Ones that are more frequently used. In most cases parents don’t hide the child’s gender but instead cultivate what is known as a gender-neutral environment. For example, domestic and caring chores are shared by both parents. This way the child doesn’t associate these chores with one gender or the other. They also allow their child to play with whatever toys they want. Long hair or short hair isn’t stressed, the child can choose. There is also a clamp down on what is called gendered language. “Man up.” “Don’t be such a girl.“

The goal for gender-neutral parenting is not, as some suggest, to a create a gender-less future. The hope is that by removing society pressure to behave in a certain way future generation will focus more on personality.