As the de facto Chancellor of the Social Public University Enterprise (SPUE), I have decided to provide a member of the academic staff, namely Cuthbert Dry-Monotone, with the opportunity to study for a doctorate.
The poor chap has been having rather a difficult time of it recently, and so I thought it would be nice for him if the subject-matter of his PhD was something that would give him the maximum possible opportunities, not just for academic excellence and personal growth, but for enjoyment as well.
His supervisor has not been appointed yet, but I would like to present whichever eminent academic I choose with a list of possible titles. This is what I have got so far.
- The effect of fermentation on Elizabethan literature.
- The role of female genitals in contemporary culture.
- The literary effect of potato cultivation.
- The effect of savoury roux-based sauces on Georgian and Victorian England.
It is of course sheer coincidence that this subject was discussed in a room where the classic "Macc Lads" song, "Beer and Sex and Chips and Gravy" was being played.
Since then, I have also come up with:
- The effect of weather and climate on English-language reading preferences: three case-studies from Barbados, Mauritius and the Maldives.
I am also indebted to a colleague for this admirable suggestion:
- The relationship between debauchery and double-barrelled surnames.
Does anybody have any other suggestions? Please add them as comments to this posting.
