A long distant family member decided to turn up the day before yesterday, with a belief that she could put and end to a certain family issue, regarding my Mother and my sister, why she felt she knew enough to have her point on view validated or indeed had the power too is beyond me.
Once her five minute visit was over and she had upset my Mother and left, my brain started to digest what had happened, so, i sent a txt to this distant family member stating my Mothers illnesses and suggested that unless she was in a position to help or have a positive impact on my Mothers life, then her point of view is not welcome, finally telling her to keep her own council.
Now, as is the attitude of nature of my career criminal, aggressive, violent, murderous, no holds barred, bare knuckle fighting Gypsy family, i was met with a barrage of abusive txts offering me all kinds different violence in all kinds of various of ways.
Because I am 46 and retired from a career criminal, aggressive, violent, murderous, no holds barred, bare knuckle fighting Gypsy family, and have been for several years, I along with my Mother are somewhat shell shocked, from being forced to live with the affects of such a lifestyle i.e. Mental illnesses and psychosomatic illnesses.
Now with that in mind we choose to live the rest of our lives in a degree of law abiding, safety, softness, solace, with lots of peace and quite, so any form of shouting, aggression, abuse, threats of violence or any other ill gotten behaviour can and does have a negative impact.
My Mother spent the rest of the day being sick and retching until she finally falling asleep on the sofa, she missed her dinner i prepared and i am sat here with waiting for her to tell me she is hungry, it has taken twenty four hours at least, for my Mother to reduce her nervous state and start to feel comfortable again.
Now I, as i do, in front of my Mother, pretend everything is ok, so i end up sleeping the whole day and upon my awaking, getting stuck in to some hard core Buddha.
Because of the love i have for my Mother and my inability to protect her from my violent, aggressive and abusive father and his behaviour towards her when i was a child, i tend to over compensate in my adult life, and be a little over protective.
10 years ago i would have met this family member who upset my Mother and terrorised them and all they hold dear, nowadays, to a certain degree, with at least 30 years of self study and help from psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapist, neuro therapists and Buddha, i am able to see in to the behaviour of others and accept it with out feeling violated and victimised, which helps me understand and live a life in peace and quite.
I owe my life to those agencies i have just mentioned, the alternative was to end up like my murdered Father or my brother who is convicted of murder, it really was a matter of life or death, and i chose life.
.
WWG1WGA
