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Richard Walker

Heard Down The Pub

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A. "I'm upwardly mobile."
B. "How exactly?"
A. "I had an iPhone 3, then an iPhone 5, now an 8 and getting a new one soon."
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Richard Walker

Will Tom Swifty's Prediction Come True?

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 13 Jun 2019, 23:43

"One day everyone will wear a smart watch", said Tom futuristically.

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty's Profession #2

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“I love my work as a poultry-measurer”, Tom said engagingly.
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Richard Walker

Brave Jim

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty's Profession #1

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Tom talked candidly about his work as a confectioner.

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Richard Walker

An Immigrant at Heaven's Gate

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At the gates of heaven

I suppose I'll be asked to show my papers.

If they are not all in order

I'll be sent to a transit camp

Or even deported to you know where.

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Richard Walker

Lost Time #2

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You used to be so proud of that rose bush

Now just a few blooms straggle across the garden fence

A fading memory.

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Richard Walker

Why did the lemming cross the road?

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 9 Jun 2019, 00:02

The cliff was way off.

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Richard Walker

Lost Time

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Listening to an old song of love

From before the time we were born

I breathed your scent again

For a short moment.

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Richard Walker

Childhood Pet

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When I was a kid we had a bat that roosted in the family motor. We used to call it our flying car pet.

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Richard Walker

Jim's Profession

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Richard Walker

Hilarious Practical Joke

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With the aid of our ball-bearings you can soon have your guests rolling on the floor. Buy now!
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Richard Walker

Fake Maths

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TWO AND TWO MAKE FIVE!!

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Richard Walker

The Persistence of Memory

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I went to an art exhibition the other day. The paintings were by a famous French Impressionist. Suddenly I was seized by the strangest feeling that I had been in this same room before and all these picture of ballet dancers, racehorses, circus performers, and so on, were very familiar to me. It was a case of Degas Vu.

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Richard Walker

Permanence

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Tomorrow is another day.

But so was yesterday.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 4 Jun 2019, 01:04

Watching old prisoner of war movies. Is it just escapism?

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Richard Walker

Birds are a Privilege

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In our Prison Yard

The birds sing

Only of hope.

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Richard Walker

Crossword Clue

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Too apt? (6, 6)

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Richard Walker

A Homeward Path

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Richard Walker

After the Event

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It's no good just to warn, we need to fight.

For when the harm's been done, who then cares we were right?


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Richard Walker

My Career

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 1 Jun 2019, 23:28

I had a job

  • as a cobbler. But it didn't last.
  • as a bungee jumper. But they let me go.
  • as a lumberjack. But they gave me the chop.
  • as a fortune teller. But they handed me my cards.


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Richard Walker

While the sun shines

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Richard Walker

Cat and Mouse Puzzle

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I didn't know this lovely puzzle until I stumbled across today it on the estimable Numberphile YouTube channel.

A mouse is swimming in a round pond. A cat circles the pond, but won't enter the water. This is my drawing, I think I have a better cat than Numerfile TBH.


If the mouse reaches the shore and is not intercepted by the cat at that point, it can run quickly and escape the cat. The cat can run 4 times faster than the mouse can swim.

Can the mouse always escape if it follows the right strategy?

The answer is presented by Numberphile in a really illuminating way. Just Google Numerphile Game of Cat and Mouse.


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Richard Walker

Nominations for PM

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I wanted to nominate the Gingerbread Man as our next PM.

But he says he's not cut out for it.
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Richard Walker

New blog post

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Aunt Tia 

Has an existential problem, which she puts like this.

“I don't ask if exist. I think I do.

I don't ask why I exist. Perhaps there is no why.

I do ask what is existence. What is its true stuff? Why does existence itself exist?

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