I ordered a Pinot. But they delivered a cruise ship.
Personal Blogs
One Liner
Friday, 12 Apr 2019, 19:59
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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 12 Apr 2019, 19:59
Five Worlds Speak
Friday, 12 Apr 2019, 00:15
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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 12 Apr 2019, 00:20
Gods say; Gold was made at the Dawn.
Elves say; Gold is the reflection of our brightess.
Men-people say; Gold is what we want most to hold.
Dwarves say: Why must we everlastingly toil to raise any mineral?
Dragons say: Here I sit and here I stay. No Dwarf shall regain my Gold; No man shall rob it from me; Elves have their own Gold in the shining of their eyes; I am a God in disguise and so shall defend my Gold until the End, and the Ruin of Gods.
Thirteen syllables
Friday, 12 Apr 2019, 00:04
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When you touched me I was lost
But then I lost
You
What's the difference between?
Thursday, 11 Apr 2019, 23:58
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The Universe; and a 1950's fireplace in Worthing?
The first is full of black holes; and the second is full of black coals.
One Liner
Thursday, 11 Apr 2019, 23:51
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Black Holes. You just can't get away from them.
Playground Joke
Wednesday, 10 Apr 2019, 00:14
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Q. What did the alien say when it saw the overgrown flowerbed?
A. Take me to your weeder!
Mondegreen
Tuesday, 9 Apr 2019, 22:15
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Heard tonight:
A. I love chilli and ginger.
B. I didn't know they grew ginger in Chile.
Celandines
Tuesday, 9 Apr 2019, 01:15
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A Poem: Of Truth, Untruth, and Silence
Tuesday, 9 Apr 2019, 00:35
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I told the truth, but no-one listened.
Then I told lies, and everyone believed them.
Now I wish I had never spoken.
Loss of appetite
Monday, 8 Apr 2019, 22:12
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As I get older my appetite is reducing. Mind you, I never ate like a horse. Don't like hay.
Narsty Limerick
Sunday, 7 Apr 2019, 22:45
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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 8 Apr 2019, 05:36
There was an old man of the seas
Who said, oh I hope I don’t sneeze!
For once I starts offs
I just sneezes and coffs,
And gets green bits all over me knees.
Beta path to your door
Saturday, 6 Apr 2019, 20:23
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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 6 Apr 2019, 20:33
I heard someone's trialling a new device for catching mice. An early version will be released to just a few people, as a beta mousetrap.
I Say, I Say, I Say!
Saturday, 6 Apr 2019, 00:33
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I Say, I Say, I Say! My dog’s a mongrel!
Is he a cross breed?
No, very friendly!
I Say, I Say, I Say!
Friday, 5 Apr 2019, 19:50
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I Say, I Say, I Say! My dog spins round and round.
Why does he do that?
Because he is a Top Dog!
Emotive Conjugation
Friday, 5 Apr 2019, 02:05
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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 5 Apr 2019, 20:03
I wrote before about this kind of word game, apparently introduced first by Betrand Russell on the The Brains Trust, and perhaps making a serious point about how our perspective sways our perception more than we realise.
One example he gave was
I am firm, You are obstinate, He is a pig-headed fool.
Here's one based on a conversation I heard tonight.
I avoid premature decisions; You deliberate at length before fixing on any particular plan of action; He is an indecisive ditherer.Aphorism
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 03:03
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Here's a saying that fetched up at my doorstep recently:
As my old teacher used to say, to learn from history is our only way.
In Praise Of Birds
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 02:46
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I will lift up mine ears to the Birds, from which comes my Consolation.
Some Mythtake
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 02:23
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If sphinxes had been on the drinxes
Would they be drunx?
Knock-knock!
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 02:11
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Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Hullabal
Hullabaloo?
Will you all try to keep the noise down please?
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 01:59
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Because it was there!
<<Editor comment: Please clarify: what was there; road or chicken?>>
Unlucky Chicken Joke
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 01:46
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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the oth...
Canadian Chicken Joke
Thursday, 4 Apr 2019, 01:40
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A friend kindly donated this.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the middle.
Recursive Doctor Joke
Wednesday, 3 Apr 2019, 01:07
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Tuesday, 2 Apr 2019, 04:27
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A1. To verify the existence of the road by objective experiment.
A2. To help carry the Duck's suitcases.
A3. Chickens gotta fly.
The Sadness of All Particles
Tuesday, 2 Apr 2019, 03:00
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You and I were students
Of particle physics
Dreaming entanglement
Later drifted apart
One we day lost contact
Locality beating us.
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