Willie, in a fit macabre,
Shoved his sister in the harbour.
Mother, seeing the child drowning
Couldn't keep herself from frowning.
Personal Blogs
Little Willie
Wednesday, 7 Mar 2018, 23:32
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New blog post
Tuesday, 6 Mar 2018, 01:35
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There were three lords sate in an ale-hoos
Lamenting that their lot could scarce be wors.
Then an of them gan say, O Woe is me, O lack a day!
So swells the numbers under me, swich growing responsibility.
In compensatioun do I not deserve more moneye soon?
The next man then took up the doleful tune
Mine company grows less and less each day
It is full hard, by Goddes blood I should get more pay.
And then the third began, and thus did groan
My station is the hardest of us three, by Christs bones.
I've held all my estates the same, but still no bonus.
Luckily they were all on the same remuneration committee.
Limerick in Imitation of E. Lear
Monday, 5 Mar 2018, 22:18
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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 5 Mar 2018, 22:29
A response to There was an old man in a tree
https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/There_was_an_Old_Man_in_a_tree
We will not entirely die
Friday, 2 Mar 2018, 22:33
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When the stars grow dim
And the seas run dry
We'll still have been
Both you and I.
The Frozen Plain
Friday, 2 Mar 2018, 22:18
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Over the frozen plain we walked
No man talked to another man
But yet we held each other by the hand
Through the night.
When dawn came across the plain
We stretched in gratitute
To friends we saw on either side
Blinking in the light.
An Old Man's Haiku For Snow
Friday, 2 Mar 2018, 22:04
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Old man rejoice
Snow's like a childhood friend
You might never see again.
Snow's like a childhood friend
You might never see again.
What Do You Call A Man...
Thursday, 1 Mar 2018, 23:02
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Stu!
Misleading brochure
Tuesday, 27 Feb 2018, 23:51
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We read the hotel was 'right by the beach'.
When we complained it wasn't, we just got told 'not to take it littorally'.
Tom Swifty takes a test
Sunday, 25 Feb 2018, 00:46
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“Identify this flatfish”, the examiner asked.
“It’s a plaice, or... maybe a sole. Er. Hang on a minute, could it be a dab?”, Tom floundered.
What Do You Call...
Saturday, 24 Feb 2018, 16:19
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Tom Swifty
Friday, 23 Feb 2018, 21:27
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"Everyone knows what 1 minus 1 comes to", Tom snorted.
An Old Love Story
Friday, 23 Feb 2018, 21:13
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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 23 Feb 2018, 21:47
"Come to bed."
She said.
And I sighed back at her.
"Not with my sciatica."
She said.
And I sighed back at her.
"Not with my sciatica."
Time
Friday, 23 Feb 2018, 19:40
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my handsgot
wrinkly
and i didnt notice
New blog post
Thursday, 22 Feb 2018, 01:45
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There was an old man of the sewer,
Who said to his wife, he said to her:
“When folks say I niffs,
We have such frightful tiffs,
That I fear that my friends are growing fewer.”
Playground Joke
Thursday, 22 Feb 2018, 00:48
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Q. What cereal do Swiss cats have for breakfast?
A. Mewsli
The Bee's Philosophy
Thursday, 22 Feb 2018, 00:30
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 22 Feb 2018, 00:32
There was a bee, sat in a hive
And got a buzz from being alive.
Whilst in a study a thinker glum
Wrote: "Cogito, ergo sum".
And got a buzz from being alive.
Whilst in a study a thinker glum
Wrote: "Cogito, ergo sum".
Worship
Monday, 19 Feb 2018, 00:51
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To your great heights, dear Father Zeus
I never could aspire
For I’m a little jumping flea.
Sure, you can jump much higher.
Escape
Sunday, 18 Feb 2018, 23:01
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I was engaged to Bluebeard.
But something someone said,
Put me off the marriage.
And so we never wed.
But something someone said,
Put me off the marriage.
And so we never wed.
What Do You Call A Man
Saturday, 17 Feb 2018, 17:48
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Evan!
haiku
Saturday, 17 Feb 2018, 02:31
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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 17 Feb 2018, 02:32
they say time heals all
wounds and of course thats true
if you wait long enough
One Liner
Saturday, 17 Feb 2018, 02:05
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This bloke I knew, he was fantastic at dreaming up new places of concealment. He was a real 'Hide here' man.
More Ogden Nashery
Friday, 16 Feb 2018, 23:41
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Frankly I’d be bored
If I won an Academy Award.
But should the situation every arise
I wouldn’t mind a Nobel Prize.
A Verse in the Style of Ogden Nash
Friday, 16 Feb 2018, 22:50
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It seems to me
Ghengis Khan was lacking in sympathy.
When I heard someone say we needed more like him in the world
My toes just curled.
New blog post
Friday, 16 Feb 2018, 21:27
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Autumn has a way
Of breaking your heart
And numbing it too.
Autumn has a way
Of breaking your heart
(I was trying to write a poem
and these are the fragments)
The Commoner and the Pistachio
Wednesday, 14 Feb 2018, 01:05
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I'm sure you know the story of the Princess and the Pea.
The plot is something along the lines of the Princess proving she was one (a Princess) or qualified to be one, by showing exquisite sensitivity to a single pea in her bed. Twenty mattresses AND twenty feather-beds, piled one on another and she could STILL feel the pea, through all forty layers of bedding. One tiny pea. There's breeding for you.
Well last night I was snacking on pistachio nuts. In bed. I fell asleep and when I got up found I’d dropped a pistachio and been sleeping on it all night long. NO mattresses or feather beds between me and the pistachio, but I never noticed a thing. So I am at completely the opposite end of the sensitivity spectrum from the Princess. Not royal material at all.
Maybe I’ll try with a tennis ball.
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