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Richard Walker

The Arctic Ocean

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I only heard of Gösta Nystroem a couple of weeks ago.

I was very impressed by this piece of music. It starts slowly, like a voyage to the icebergs. As I grow older I feel the north tugging me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-PxztSDF0I


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Richard Walker

Joke

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Q. What kind of film makes vultures laugh?

A. Carrion films.

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Richard Walker

Don't be Beastly

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Don't be beastly to a billionaire

Or greet them with a frown.

For as you know they're only there

So wealth can trickle down.

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Richard Walker

Bridge Haiku

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The mill pond is a feast of lights

But where are the water lilies now?

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Richard Walker

Haiku

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You cut off your hair.

I shaved my beard. Who can say now

Which came first?

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 3 Aug 2017, 16:15

In our family we played lots of jokes on one another. One day my brother told me we were getting a gramophone. Turned out to be a wind up.

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Richard Walker

Sums?

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Suppose there were a race between two wampuses, Wampus One and Wampus Two, that resulted in a dead heat.

Then I suppose you might say that Wampus One won and Wampus Two won too.

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Richard Walker

Joke

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Recently my doors have been squeaking a lot. But a bit of DIY fixed the problem. I'm really enjoying the silence of the jambs.

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Richard Walker

Q and A

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Q. What do you call a Loch that thinks it exists?

A. Conscious Ness.

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Richard Walker

Cheesy Journalism

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Famed cheese author Rock Ford discussed with me why his latest book took so long to write. "Things just kept getting in the whey", he explained.

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Richard Walker

Kick

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I get no kick from A to T.

V to Z don't thrill me at all.

But I get a kick out of U.

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Richard Walker

Kōan

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A pupil went to the Abbess one day.

"Reverend Mother", she enquired, "Does every question have an answer?".

The Abbess beamed at her. "Does every answer have a question?".


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Richard Walker

I Miss You

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I looked up.

Too late. You'd gone.

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Richard Walker

Last Night I Heard the Voices of the Dead

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 30 Jul 2017, 00:24

Last night I heard the voices of the dead

They were not as bats squeaking but as I remembered them.

The dead did not stretch out their hands to me

They were quite matter of fact and did not realize I was still alive.

(If they had I doubt they would have blamed or even cared.)

The dead did not whisper but called out my name, suddenly

And it rang in my heart and my head

Like the sea roaring in the shells I found on the beach.

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Richard Walker

5 big cheeses - were they born to roule?

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Julius Cheeser

Käse Wilhelm

Richard the Curd

Feta the Great

Alexander the Grater




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Richard Walker

Sunset is the Autumn of the Day

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Richard Walker

Do Owls Howl?

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Yes.

 'Howl' is from Medieval English 'houlen' which seems related to similar words in many Germanic and Scandinavian languages, and ultimately to Latin 'ululare' (as in ululate) and Greek 'υλαν'. It's thought the word is an imitation of the sound. I like this from Caxton

"The dogges herd the voys of the wulf wherefore they beganne to barke and to howle."

But owl is also from the same root. Old English had 'ule' and 'ulula', evidently from the Latin word. So owls do howl.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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We shan't be making duvets any time soon. Grandpa went and lost our entire stock of goose feathers playing poker. That's what happens when the chips are down.

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Richard Walker

Tabby Tipple Three

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Q. What do alcoholic Italian cats drink?

A. Pussecco.

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Richard Walker

Tabby Tipple Two

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 23 Jul 2017, 23:23

Q. What do alcoholic French cats drink?

A. Purr-no

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Richard Walker

Tabby Tipple

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 24 Jul 2017, 12:17

Q. What do alcoholic Greek cats drink?

A. Mewso.

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Richard Walker

Dr Tom Swifty

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"I think you're malingering, but I suppose I'd better take your temperature", Tom said testily.

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Richard Walker

The Wheel of War

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Each war is the war to end all wars.

There is a pause, but then

It all begins again.

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty on Flight

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"Do I really need to explain why pigs can't fly?", said Tom knowlingly.

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty at Home

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"Welcome to Swifty Towers". Tom spoke in a lofty manner.

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