Personal Blogs
One Liner
Autumn Haiku
Once for surprise, twice for wonder
Fingers touching October frost.
International Sloth Day
Recent research on these amazing mammals shows they have very low metabolic rates, the slowest in the animal kingdom. The only other animals that can give them a run for their money (as you might say) are koalas and giant pandas.
Read more here
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/it-s-official-three-toed-sloths-are-the-slowest-mammals-on-earth/
Carry Me Home
Goose mother, if I am a child of yours
Please bear me home with you, when darkness falls.
Elfin Lane
Going home tonight, we four
Met an elf sitting on a drystone wall
He spoke first. "Goodnight all".
As quiet as a lover at a bedroom window.
Communication
In response to your enquiry concerning our recent monthly returns. They were intentionally sent to you as tightly rolled hard copy. This was intended to ease their insertion into your records.
Yours, Branch
Who's Sorrel Now?
thyme may come when you rue sending in the bay leaves
A Visitor
On my doorstep a tiny alien.
"Me Ning"
"Hug me please."
Alla Barnen
The New York Times once said, about a hero of mine.
"Mr Lehrer's muse is not fettered by such inhibiting factors as taste."
I dedicate this unusually nasty verse to him.
All the kids loved babies. Except Huey.
He said he found them rather chewy.
Against Mediocraty
"Consistency is all", I heard them say.
Who wants a world where everything is painted grey?
Kōan
"Our studies are too easy" said the first. "On the contrary", said the second, "They are too hard".
"Which of us is right?", they asked. Silently the Master pointed to where a third Scholar was patiently studying.
One Liner
Grandad's been borrowing again to fund his skiing habit. It's a slippery slope.
Dear Snail Haiku
Snail. Ahem. With permission. May I move you slightly?
You're on my favourite seat.
Red Autum Haiku
If I were a leaf
You might catch me as I fell
It's supposed to be good luck.
Untitled
Don't put your head
In a Lion's mouth
You may hit a raw nerve.
Seashell
When I was a child, I clasped to my ear a shell
Hearing there the ceaseless swell and ebb of the oceans.
A Hat Against Eternity
Death can't afford a fancy hat and that
Is why you need to buy
Something avec zing
Un chapeau trés beau
Follow the urge, splurge
Then when all is done and said
Eternity will see defiance on your head.
One Liner
My Gran did a supermarket price comparison. She says every Lidl helps.
Old Bear Haiku
Soon the snow will fall
I'd better find a warm nest
Where I can dream of Spring.
One Liner
My Dad got me a job as a puppeteer. Mind you, he had to pull strings.
Dark In The Lane
As I walked
By a house
Someone was playing
A piano
Upstairs.
Too Confident
Too confident I was In my conscience
I ran someone down With my conscience
And now have blood On my conscience.
A Kōan for programmers
The Pupil asked: All my software tests passed. Should I rejoice?
The Master replied: I would advise you to weep, for you have learned nothing.
Clerihew
W.A. Mozart was no longer solvent or alive
After the age of thirty-five.
But although he died a debtor
His music has made millions of people feel bebtor.
The Sound of Music
Cat vomit. Bucket & mop out again.
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