And presumably every kitten/smitten.
But is not keen/to intervene.
And presumably every kitten/smitten.
But is not keen/to intervene.
if all are not free, then none are
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome please!
The Mosses: Mr. and Mrs. Moss, and their celebrity daughter. She's Fay Moss.
God equipped me with an insufficiency of hands.
Wherefore going home tonight, walking-stick and shopping-bag-handed. The umbrella furled.
I was nonplussed when the rain began.
Waltzing for dreamers.
Hello angel. I was expecting something grander
I confess. Big strong wings of godly grace.
A heavenly being, assigned to my case.
Not such a shrill whine. That starts again.
When I extinguish the light. But I guess
You're just a messenger, doing your best.
And the clean up team of millions will come by in no time.
So that's it then. And honestly I'm not disappointed.
We atheists can't complain.
WKSU is an online radio channel that I often listen to.
It's partially funded by advertising but also relies a good deal on individual donors. So at fairly frequent intervals there is an item reminding us we can become a supporter at any time.
You don't have to wait for a fun drive.
That's not what the announcer is saying at all: it should be a fund drive. But although I know this perfectly well, the part of my brain that recognizes words stubbornly goes on hearing fun drive, even though this makes no sense at all in the context.
Apparently it's true
The wombat's poo
Is a regular hexahedron.
Making it the one
And only animal that
Has cubical skat.
An expression which avoids
Mentioning cuboids.
In homage to Ogden Nash (1902 – May 19, 1971)
Where should I put my money?
All the kids liked being tested with vegetarian food. Except Trig.
He said he felt like a guinea pig.
So he ate one.
If I could meet her
In a reverse low-key sort of way
Just for a second
Maybe we could become a unit.
Perhaps you've not heard of the Elsinore Sewing Club.
It was Denmark 1943. Although the country was under Nazi occupation, Denmark's 8,000 strong Jewish population had yet come under attack.
However orders arrived for deportation. I don't think the full implications were widely understood but they were evidently seen as ominous.
People from all walks of Danish society joined in a rescue mission. Jews were warned to go into immediate hiding. Volunteers even worked painstakingly through telephone directories for names that looked Jewish to warn the people concerned.
The "Sewing Club" was a code-named resistance group. Elsinore in Denmark is only about 3 km across the sea from Sweden - Hamlet would have been able to see Sweden from the castle walls.
In small boats, the Sewing Club carried over 90% of the Jewish community of Denmark to safety on the Swedish shore.
Who cares about my old stories?
You've got your own.
Soon they'll be forgotten too.
In the spirit of "What noise annoys an oyster?" and "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?" here is my own modest offering.
As an aside, if I decided to make a single of "Oh I do like to be beside the sea side", what would the B-side of "I do like to be beside the sea side" be?
"Can I come in?" asked Tom adoringly.
"I have something" he said presently.
"Tonight I won this coconut for you", he said shyly.
"Oh gosh, I bet your balls hit it as hard as possible", she replied bashfully.
"May I slip this gold band on your finger", he said admiringly.
"Oh yes, yes!" she replied engagingly.
Alexander Fleming
Called his mother a lemming.
In spite of this villainy
His career was very penicilliny.
If 23 people get together, it's odds-on that some two share the same birthday. This is not intuitive, so it's a surprise.
One of the OU modules I work on has about 1200 students. With that number of people, it's odds-on that 10 of them have the same birthday.
Who would have guessed that? If we checked through all their birthdays (probably we can't because of Data Protection) and compared them, then found 10 the same, it might be regarded as an amazing coincidence. But it's not.
The leaves whisper quietly
Its
Autumn
Soon
Dat Lucrezia Borgia. What an awful poison.
"Caught in a storm but need to get home quickly?"
Our patented "Hurry Cane" is designed to help.
Call now for a free quotation.
Today I am reading on the front of Times 2 that I should go feral.
As all guys and dolls know the Times is greatly respected from all quarters whatsoever, so naturally I am following this tip.
But
regrettably the word about this is all over Broadway in hardly any
time, and it transpires Al is not pleased about being gone for, and
whilst I am doing nothing but quietly munching a chop down at Mindy's,
who should come in but two gorillas who demand not a little aggressively
what I mean by going for Al.
I explain that I just mean I
will vote for him anytime soon and the gorillas back off, and leave in a
very handsome manner, I must say.
Just while I am getting
properly back to the chop, in comes in another pair of guys, who are all
steamed up that I am a supporter of Al. Again I have to explain that I
have been misunderstood and in fact Al will never be top of my
popularity list but a person I will attack on account of the fact I hate
and despise him.
So eventually these also depart, although
one of them scowls somewhat, but I am left to finish the chop, although of course
it is cold by now.
As I am explaining later to Little Pete, all this interruption is not a little anxiety provoking and can lead to dyspepsia, especially when the gorillas are somewhat large and morose also, and do not seem well educated; and it does not seem as though a wise person in this town should read misleading newspapers.
Moral:
Honesty is one thing. Policy's another.
With tribute to Damion Runyon.
Times 2, 30 August 2016
I've lived my whole life next to a meadow and I expect I'll die there too. He who lives by the sward shall die by the sward.
I love spontaneous tongue twisters. Tonight someone said
"The blue bin men haven't been."
My bungalow designs are never perfect. Sadly they always have a floor in them.
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