As a child I was often stung by nettles, but I never grasped one on purpose.
Tonight, walking home, I found my way blocked by a car drawn across the pavement. Perhaps the driver didn't know about prams, wheelchairs, people with walking sticks, I don't know who else.
But maybe the driver was a sort of Gwendolen Fairfax, declaring "I am glad to say I have never stepped on a pavement".
What could I do to protest?
I looked around.
Luckily I saw some very vigorous nettles growing very close. So I grasped them, pulled some up, and strewed them on the windscreen.
Did it hurt? Yes, but it was a good kind of hurt.
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A bit. Only socially.
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I've lived in quite a few places in England and Wales but have never known anywhere like Lancaster for people parking on the pavement such that they block it. I don't know why it is but it is endemic in this town. It's illegal (and inconsiderate, of course) but neither the police nor council seem to care.
Consequently most streets have broken paving stones and displaced kerb stones, making the pavements dangerous to walk on when there aren't cars on them.
The matter is made worse by the council allowing businesses to put sandwich boards on the pavements. The pavements are typically not very wide anyway and there are places where it is not possible to get a wheelchair round the signs without going into the road. These signs obstructing the pavement are illegal (and inconsiderate, of course) but neither the police nor the council seem to care.
I have considered moving some of these signs myself but they are always chained to lampposts or other street furniture.
There are certain businesses in the town who have delivery vans sitting part on the pavement and blocking a cycle lane. This is specifically illegal but they are there every day when not being used. Two of these business in particular also have sandwich boards out and one also has a bus stop outside and bicycles chained to the street furniture. It is normal to have to walk around the outside of their van, in the road (which is the town centre ring road, by the way) because they have completely blocked the pavement with all their stuff.
The matter is made worse by the one-way system and illogical cycle lanes which result in most (yes, most) cyclists using the pavements. Lancaster is one of those towns where the cyclists are firmly of the opinion they have right of way over pedestrians and expect pedestrians to get out of their way. Since there are so many pavement obstructions you can see, every morning and afternoon, pedestrians (including school children) walking with or against the traffic flow in the road or in on-road cycle lanes while cyclists ride on the pavement.
It does not help that the council rubbish collection seems to be a matter of confusion in the town centre; including for their own staff. There are frequently piles of rubbish bags on the pavements, including those put out by the council street bin emptiers, for hours on end and sometimes for days. So you find yourself walking in the road because the pavement has been blocked by the council staff putting rubbish out.
Matters are further confused by sections of pavement being converted to cycle paths with no provision for pedestrians at all. On these short stretches (placed at junctions) cyclists get very cross with the pedestrians, but there is nowhere for pedestrians to be unless it is on the grass verge or, where there is none, in the road.
Lancaster is one of those towns that should have signs up in the train station and bus station saying:
Do not alight
Pedestrians are not welcome here