Imogen: Who is Hugo talking to?
Hermione: I think his name is Jory.
Imogen: He might have dressed a little more smartly for church.
Hermione: He hasn’t got much money. Those are his best clothes.
Imogen: How come you know so much about him.
Hermione: I spoke to his wife. She told me.
Imogen: I guess Hugo’s just being kind because it’s Christmas.
Hermione: I think he actually likes Jory. It seems they’re both Arsenal fans. Jory used to play in goal for Penzance AFC.
Imogen: That’s hardly a reason for holding a conversation.
Hermione: Hugo was deeply moved by the vicar’s sermon about peace on earth and everyone loving one another.
Imogen: I knew it was a mistake for him to preach on that subject, especially at Christmas. Completely inappropriate. Sends out the wrong message… and who are Jasper and Seraphima talking to? Don’t tell me…
Hermione: Jory’s children. Jasper and Seraphima like them. Jory’s wife has invited them round to play after Christmas.
Imogen: We’ll have to make excuses. I suppose they’re unemployed and live on benefits.
Hermione: That’s uncanny. He used to be a tin miner until the mine gave out. How on earth did you know?
Imogen: Intuition.
Hermione: They’re nice people. You’ll like them.
Imogen: I doubt if I shall be finding out.
Hermione: You will. Hugo’s invited them round to Lord Hamptonshire’s with us for mulled wine and mince pies.
Imogen: What? I’m afraid that’s impossible. Vere you’ve got to say something.
Vere: Hwah! Hwah! About what?
Imogen: About what Hermione’s just said.
Vere: Hwah! Hwah! Great character Lord Hamptonshire.
Imogen: I can see I’ll have to say something. We need to nip this in the bud.
Vere: Plenty of room in the Range Rover. Hwah! Hwah!
Imogen: You’re not listening Vere. We can’t just turn up with people like that.
Vere: Lord H won’t notice. He invites the whole village round. Hwah! Hwah! Good old fashioned lord of the manor taking care of the peasantry.
Imogen: This is like a bad dream. This isn’t what Christmas is about.
Hermione: I thought it was about…
Imogen: It’s about tradition and the family. Nothing to do with picking up strangers. Goodness knows what Jasper and Seraphima will pick up from them… they might catch something.
Hermione: They’re really nice. And they speak Cornish which is why they came to the service.
Hugo: Oh, there you are mater and pater. I’d like you to meet Jory and Sennara. They’re coming with us to Lord H.
Jory: Da yw genev metya genes.
Hermione: I love hearing real Cornish being spoken. It’s so charming.
Vere: Hwah! Hwah! Arsenal fans eh? Jolly good. Played in goal for Penzance? I had a spell as centre forward a few years back. Hwah! Hwah! Pretty useless but the old pater used to keep the club afloat.
Imogen: Vere. Take me home. I’ve got one of my migraines coming on.
