I don't know where I read this

There was an old curate of Kew
Who kept a tom cat in his pew.
He taught it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But it never got further than μ.

Here is my modest effort in the same waggish spirit.

There was an old man of Clontarf
Who kept a small dog in his bath.
He saw some attractions
In teaching it fractions,
But it never got further than ½.