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Haiku

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Afterwards we ate ice cream

And watched the sunset

Burning hotly

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However: A Love Poem

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i love you however

how could we ever be together

if we tried

the ebb tide

and rickety framework of our past

would shatter like glass

the bitter shards of broken hearts

tearing ours apart 

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One Liner

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I’m changing my name by deed poll to ‘The Road’. Loads of free drinks.


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Common Buzzards

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 19 Oct 2019, 14:50


Photo: Ralph Gebhardt https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Buteo_buteo_060716_800v1.jpg

Often I hear the evocative calls of a pair of common buzzards circling over my house. For a recording from the RSPB website listen hereAudio player: CommonBuzzard13March2009LheebroekerzandHolland.mp3

When I was growing up in the East of England in the mid 20th century these birds were never seen. Killing to protect game birds had drastically the numbers of what was once a common bird. After illegal killing ceased numbers recovered but then two catastrophes set the resurgence back. Now the bird has recovered from these disasters and is common again, in every part of the UK. it's now our commonest bird of prey.

I've tried to capture the information from https://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/wildlife-guides/bird-a-z/buzzard/ as a kind of time plot. It's just a sketch, the height of the graph is not accurate but just my attempt to make the story on the RSPB website graphical.


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Quote of the day

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"The only way to treat the common cold is with contempt."

William Osler 1849 – 1919


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Emojis

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I love emojis. Tonight I was looking for a ghost emoji. Sure enough there is one. But that got me thinking: is there an emoji for emoji? If so, what could it look like?

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I forgot to say

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I forgot to say.

When we had that row, i

fell

in

love

with

you.

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One Liner

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I bought a Stradivarius on eBay but it turned out to be fake. What a fiddle that was.

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Down The Pub

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Tonight I was chatting to a group of people who plant crops. Apparently they’ve been sponsored for a seed drilling competition, and so they can sell their services at an usually low price. If they win they’ll be awarded a prestigious medal.

As one of them put it, “We’re sowing for a gong.”

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I bought a painting

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Sunset over Walcott

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One Liner

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Loneliness is the worst thing in the world. Am I the only one that thinks that?

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News from Nth Pole

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Just 79 days to Xmas!

The Elves are working hard to keep the production line of Cracker Mottoes flowing. QA picked out this sample for us

“Q. Why is a chicken like an onion skin?

 A.  Because both are layers!”

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A Reply

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I have a place on the Chungnan slopes.

Sitting there you can see the Mountains.

No one there, no guests, the gate is closed.

No plans all day, just time and silence.

Nothing stops you gazing and dreaming.

Why not come and try to find me there?


Wang Wei (699-759 AD)

Trans. A. S. Kline and reproduced with permission, see

https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Chinese/AllwaterWangWei.php#Areply


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Hamlet's Pencil Dilemma

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 3 Oct 2019, 22:41

I couldn't choose the right pencil. 2B or not 2B?

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Step 2

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Nothing. Always easy. After that it gets harder.

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Love Letter

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I’d need lots of work

Lots

Teeth for a start. Might even go to dentures, could you bear that

Some skin flaps to rid of

But there’s a nice little shop that does this

And it’s only round the

Corner

Toenails, well podiatrist. Also local. That’s good and

I could have some attention 

From a barber/hairdresser because there is a certain unkemptness about me, this I know.

And then

I might look quite presentable 

Would you marry

Me

Th....

...en

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One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 2 Oct 2019, 00:32

I had a job as a human cannonball. But they fired me.

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Cartoon

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A frog problem

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I didn't make this problem up, I found it on the Numberphile Youtube channel, but it was new to me and I thought it was interesting. 

A frog is on the left-hand bank of a river. In the river are 10 stepping stones as shown.


The frog crosses the river, always moving to the right, by random hops. At each hop it chooses which of the remaining stones it will hop to at random, with equal probability for each remaining stone.

What is the expected number, i.e. the average number, of hops it will make before reaching the other bank?


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Tim and his onions

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One Liner

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When clockmakers reach the end of their career, they can't just retire. They need to wind down gradually.

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A Haiku

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Knowing you.

An impossible dream.

That’s why I keep pinching myself.

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John's World

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 25 Sep 2019, 12:09


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Crossword clue

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Head over heels yet no evil? (5, 2, 4)

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Playgrounder

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 18 Sep 2019, 10:01

Q. How do the Alligators pick a new leader?

A. They call a snap election.

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