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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

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A. It didn’t notice it had.

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Iridescent clouds

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Examples seen by observers in the south east on Monday 17/06/2019

https://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/features/48665918

See also

https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/viewpost.php?post=162944


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One Liner

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This morning I put the washing machine on. But I decided it didn't suit me.

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Pedigree

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 19 Jun 2019, 00:23


This handsome flower which I spotted yesterday (you see I am a flowerspotter) is meadow cranesbill, Geranium pratense. It is called cranesbill because its seed-pods look like the bill of a crane. You may be suprised that it is a geranium, because it doesn't look quite like the geraniums you see in pots, but I believe they are more properly called pelargoniums, at least by botanists.

The Latin name Geranium is from the Greek γέρανος, 'geranos', which means a crane, and this give scope for confusion, because the name pelargonium is derived from the Greek πελαργός, 'pelargos', a stork, and some pelargoniums are called storksbills.

The French for crane is grue and this opens up another interesting byway, because it is thought the word pedigree originated fron medieval French pé de grue, cranes-foot. When scribes drew up family trees they showed descent by a symbol thought to resemble a crane's foot.

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🦅 iness

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If I were a bird, do you know what I’d do?

I’d sit on a branch and go whoo hoo hoo.

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Water Cooler Joke

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Q. Why is a pub toilet like a nuisance?

A. Because both are inconveniences.



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One Liner

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If you start a job with the police force they put you on probation. What's that all about?
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Keep the lid on it

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I opened this email. “Can of worms” is what it said.

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Tip me up

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The Colour Yellow

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I always believed lemmings were yellow. So what did I know?

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One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 14 Jun 2019, 01:06

Is a suspended parliament the same as a hung one?

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My Cosmolgy

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My theory

The universe was created in a bag

This became a big bag

More stuff

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Mammoth Extinction (Playground Joke)

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 14 Jun 2019, 00:41

Qu. Why didn't mammoths come up with a survival strategy?

Ans. Because they were woolly thinkers!


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Heard Down The Pub

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A. "I'm upwardly mobile."
B. "How exactly?"
A. "I had an iPhone 3, then an iPhone 5, now an 8 and getting a new one soon."
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Will Tom Swifty's Prediction Come True?

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 13 Jun 2019, 23:43

"One day everyone will wear a smart watch", said Tom futuristically.

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Tom Swifty's Profession #2

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“I love my work as a poultry-measurer”, Tom said engagingly.
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Brave Jim

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Tom Swifty's Profession #1

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Tom talked candidly about his work as a confectioner.

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An Immigrant at Heaven's Gate

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At the gates of heaven

I suppose I'll be asked to show my papers.

If they are not all in order

I'll be sent to a transit camp

Or even deported to you know where.

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Lost Time #2

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You used to be so proud of that rose bush

Now just a few blooms straggle across the garden fence

A fading memory.

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Why did the lemming cross the road?

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 9 Jun 2019, 00:02

The cliff was way off.

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Lost Time

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Listening to an old song of love

From before the time we were born

I breathed your scent again

For a short moment.

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Childhood Pet

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When I was a kid we had a bat that roosted in the family motor. We used to call it our flying car pet.

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Jim's Profession

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Hilarious Practical Joke

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With the aid of our ball-bearings you can soon have your guests rolling on the floor. Buy now!
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