The allotment went well at first. But then I lost the plot.
It's only me worries
Why the sky is so blue.
The lark doesn’t care.
Today I snapped my tape measure.
I was quite annoyed, but then I remembered Gran saying: "Rules are just made to be broken."
Last weekend next door had a big do; marquee, live band and so on. As midnight approached the music was still very loud, so I went round and asked the band if they could turn it down a bit.
They immediately agreed, and when I got home it was noticeably quieter, although not as peaceful as I might have wished. But I left things at that, remembering Gran's wise saying: “Never fight the band that heeds you.”
Q. What's the difference between a spoilsport and a cat who has lost eight lives?
A. One is a dog in manger, the other is a mog in danger.
Anyway I gave it a shot.
“Were they the ones that hung out with the Persians?”, I said.
Apparently this wasn’t the right answer.
Looking for backers for an exciting new reality project.
'Neandertal Island' will creatively blend the science and primeval fear of the film Jurassic Park with the romance and love interest of current reality TV.
The island theme is strong, and cloning Neandertals who can mingle with modern human players should be much easier than recreating dinosaurs.
When players are thrown together expect fireworks! Everyone has a little Neandertal in their DNA, and anything could happen.
My Inner Sinner
And Then Inside
Notice me, oh! notice me, they screamed.
And yet, I felt, ... not all was as it seemed.
Roll up! And you'll see
Highly trained ants, who know
Where the sugar is.
I started a company selling origami. It's making a profit on paper.
Picture credit: my brother Simon Walker
Odin, in Old Norse, Woden in Old English, traditionally had a pair of ravens, one perched on each shoulder. According to the Poetic Edda they were named Higgunn and Minun; 'Thought' and 'Memory'. Other traditions say he taught his birds to talk.
Each day they went out gathering intelligence for Odin's ears, but he was anxious. In the Poetic Edda we read
Huginn ok Munin
fljúga hverjan dag
óumc ek of Hugin
at hann aftr né comiþ,
þó siámc meir um Munin.
A Spoonerism, named for the Rev. Spooner of New College Oxford, who is supposed to have often made this kind of speech error (or maybe he was just making jokes), is when the first letters of two word phrases get swapped, with amusing resuts.
example Spooner allegedly said to a wayward student: "You have hissed
all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave
Oxford on the next town drain."
I've long wondered if there are any triple spooners. These would be three words for which shifting the first letters of each word in a cycle gives a different set of three words.
seem quite hard to think of, so today I concocted a computer program to
generate them. It generates plenty, but so far none have been all that
memorable or funny, and many include very unusual words, so they don't
The best I have so far is this. It's not too bad, although there are probably better ones out there.
A regular newspaper columnist referred to plans to grow watercress in allotments.
Another paper commented on the article under the headline
PRESS SLOT CITES CRESS PLOT SITES
I quite liked Gran's avocado bathroom. Apart from the prawns, that is.
I realise many people think Cats are better than Dogs but to them please let me say,
This verse is proof they are wrong, because it’s doggerel, OK?
In retirement Uncle Ebenezer worked all day, every day, to design a Mausoleum for himself. He was literally buried in his work.
Wildflowers are one of my passions. Yesterday I spotted this beauty in a hedge near where I live.
This lovely climbing, or at least scrambling, plant is Solanum dulcamara. Dulcamara = Sweet-bitter (think 'La Dolce Vita', and 'Amaretto'). A common English name for it is Bittersweet.
Solanum seems to come originally from Pliny but I think he confused it with a different plant1. Both come from the family that includes potatoes, tomatoes and aubergines, and if you have ever observed the flowers of those plants you will see the family resemblance. Similarities in flower structure are what allows botanists to classify plants, rather than size, leaf and stem structure, habitat and so on.
My mother use to
call this (or a very similar plant) deadly nightshade, but although the
fruits of bittersweet are toxic, deadly nightshade is Atropa belladonna. Deadly nightshade has a rich folklore and history 2, including being used for poisoned arrows, so it was literally toxic, because toxic comes from the idea of poisoned tips, via ancient Greek τοξον toxon = bow.
1 "The solanum, according to Cornelius Celsus, is called "strychnon" by the Greeks; it is possessed of repercussive and refrigerative properties."
I drove into this garage. Well. It ruined the front of the car.
I hate air travel. I tried to sleep on the aeroplane, but I just fell off.
This blog might contain posts that are only visible to logged-in users, or where only logged-in users can comment. If you have an account on the system, please log in for full access.