Edited by David Smith, Thursday, 7 Jul 2011, 14:20
Been watching this Julia Bradbury series on catch up about by-products of animal husbandry and there was a bit where some company has started manufacturing 'natural' sheep-intestine condoms, just like wot Casanova used to wear. Now I'm all for effective use of these by-products generally, but couldn't help thinking this perhaps a step too far both in practical terms (what about vegans?) and for the potential knock-on effect in the world of politically incorrect comedy. I mean, if sheep’s intestines are more widely adopted in the manufacture of condoms we will all technically become sheep-shaggers and won’t be able to verbally abuse Welshmen or New Zealanders anymore, and I think that would be a sad day indeed.
Have to say (if i haven't before) that I like Julia Bradbury, whether slaughtering animules to challenge our wilfully ignorant 'ethical' double standards or out taking a nice walk along the side of a canal. She's the 'acceptable face' of hiking - very acceptable when you consider the likely alternative of the only other female hiker who comes readilly to mind, Janet Street Poooorta. I'll be honest and say there's not many gals I look at in a Kagool and think ' yep, I'd definitely be up for some of that' but Julia could share my packed lunch on a tow path bench any day of the week. Actually, Janet could too, because I think she's a very interesting, intelligent laydeee, but it would defiitely be a sandwich and cup-a-soup packed lunch with 'no extras'...
Julia, though, i'd love to get her on a slow barge through a long tunnel... she could climb aboard my narrow boat any day of the week... (I'll stop there in the name of decency, as 'floodgates', 'damp canal' and further barge/tunnel references would probably be unwelcome and unnecessary)
Sticking with the julia theme though, i noticed her on something the other day and she appears to be pregnant (wasn't me, honest! Chance would be a fine thing!). I wonder if her next series will have her pushing a three wheeled buggy over disused railway lines or coastal paths and commenting on the lack of baby-changing facilities? Or even better, she could ditch the pram and trade up her rucksack for a baby-carrying papoose on her back – that would be well cute, wouldn’t it?
Also noticed Claudia ‘Squinty’ Winkleman is heavily with child at the mo. Now don’t get me wrong, I think pregnant laydeez look absolutely lovely and charming etc, and when Ben’s mum was carrying him was absolutely delighted when she went from an ‘inny’ to an ‘outy’ overnight, but I do think that skin-tight maternity dresses are a step in the wrong direction. Sorry, Claudia, you don’t look lovely or charming – you look like an unexploded bomb! It’s disturbing, quite frankly, and once you put those strange, praying mantis eyes and the piercing maniacal laughter into the mix positively scary...
Talking of animal eyes, do you think Lauren Laverne can see through 350 degrees like a(n) horse and other animules that have eyes on the side of their head? I wonder if when she was born they were both on one side of her face and one moved round as she got bigger? That’s what happens with flatfish; they’re born like normal fish with one on each side of a fish shaped body then as they evolve into flatfish the second eye moves around to the new ‘top’. Not suggesting Lauren is flat – or fishy come to that – but there’s not much meat on her, is there, so I reckon there’s a possibility she is wider than she is deep, as it were. Either way, another young lady I wouldn’t turn down in a Kagool, and I guess that what with all the Art review shows and stuff she does the 21st century’s answer to Joan Bakewell, the ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ of the latter 20th's ... Who’d a thunk it, after the debacle that was Kenickie?
Kill it, Cut it, F*** it...
Been watching this Julia Bradbury series on catch up about by-products of animal husbandry and there was a bit where some company has started manufacturing 'natural' sheep-intestine condoms, just like wot Casanova used to wear. Now I'm all for effective use of these by-products generally, but couldn't help thinking this perhaps a step too far both in practical terms (what about vegans?) and for the potential knock-on effect in the world of politically incorrect comedy. I mean, if sheep’s intestines are more widely adopted in the manufacture of condoms we will all technically become sheep-shaggers and won’t be able to verbally abuse Welshmen or New Zealanders anymore, and I think that would be a sad day indeed.
Have to say (if i haven't before) that I like Julia Bradbury, whether slaughtering animules to challenge our wilfully ignorant 'ethical' double standards or out taking a nice walk along the side of a canal. She's the 'acceptable face' of hiking - very acceptable when you consider the likely alternative of the only other female hiker who comes readilly to mind, Janet Street Poooorta. I'll be honest and say there's not many gals I look at in a Kagool and think ' yep, I'd definitely be up for some of that' but Julia could share my packed lunch on a tow path bench any day of the week. Actually, Janet could too, because I think she's a very interesting, intelligent laydeee, but it would defiitely be a sandwich and cup-a-soup packed lunch with 'no extras'...
Julia, though, i'd love to get her on a slow barge through a long tunnel... she could climb aboard my narrow boat any day of the week... (I'll stop there in the name of decency, as 'floodgates', 'damp canal' and further barge/tunnel references would probably be unwelcome and unnecessary)
Sticking with the julia theme though, i noticed her on something the other day and she appears to be pregnant (wasn't me, honest! Chance would be a fine thing!). I wonder if her next series will have her pushing a three wheeled buggy over disused railway lines or coastal paths and commenting on the lack of baby-changing facilities? Or even better, she could ditch the pram and trade up her rucksack for a baby-carrying papoose on her back – that would be well cute, wouldn’t it?
Also noticed Claudia ‘Squinty’ Winkleman is heavily with child at the mo. Now don’t get me wrong, I think pregnant laydeez look absolutely lovely and charming etc, and when Ben’s mum was carrying him was absolutely delighted when she went from an ‘inny’ to an ‘outy’ overnight, but I do think that skin-tight maternity dresses are a step in the wrong direction. Sorry, Claudia, you don’t look lovely or charming – you look like an unexploded bomb! It’s disturbing, quite frankly, and once you put those strange, praying mantis eyes and the piercing maniacal laughter into the mix positively scary...
Talking of animal eyes, do you think Lauren Laverne can see through 350 degrees like a(n) horse and other animules that have eyes on the side of their head? I wonder if when she was born they were both on one side of her face and one moved round as she got bigger? That’s what happens with flatfish; they’re born like normal fish with one on each side of a fish shaped body then as they evolve into flatfish the second eye moves around to the new ‘top’. Not suggesting Lauren is flat – or fishy come to that – but there’s not much meat on her, is there, so I reckon there’s a possibility she is wider than she is deep, as it were. Either way, another young lady I wouldn’t turn down in a Kagool, and I guess that what with all the Art review shows and stuff she does the 21st century’s answer to Joan Bakewell, the ‘thinking man’s crumpet’ of the latter 20th's ... Who’d a thunk it, after the debacle that was Kenickie?
l8rs
:D