Edited by Patricia Stammers, Monday, 28 Jan 2013, 13:23
Adjectives can be avoided according to my text book.
The penultimate draft of my TMA03 poetry submission 'Country Bus', relies on adjectives for effect;
'Minoan - mural - red spread ...' it began but as there is plenty of time before the cut off date I decided to experiment and eliminate all the adjectives.
The first line now includes an allusion to the driver and passenger so the poem is not just about a dawn of flamboyance.
Lines 1- 2,
'Driver and passenger talking
Tested the tension this morning.'
Lines 12 - 17,
'A sun leaned on the night
All blushing enrichment
Like a Daemon of Creativity
Burning for the earth
Disallowing discontent and rousing
The drowsing of den and lair'
I am pleased with the simpler effect and the way in which eliminating descriptive phrases allowed another idea, a human theme in to add interest.
TMA03
Adjectives can be avoided according to my text book.
The penultimate draft of my TMA03 poetry submission 'Country Bus', relies on adjectives for effect;
'Minoan - mural - red spread ...' it began but as there is plenty of time before the cut off date I decided to experiment and eliminate all the adjectives.
The first line now includes an allusion to the driver and passenger so the poem is not just about a dawn of flamboyance.
Lines 1- 2,
'Driver and passenger talking
Tested the tension this morning.'
Lines 12 - 17,
'A sun leaned on the night
All blushing enrichment
Like a Daemon of Creativity
Burning for the earth
Disallowing discontent and rousing
The drowsing of den and lair'
I am pleased with the simpler effect and the way in which eliminating descriptive phrases allowed another idea, a human theme in to add interest.