Edited by Patricia Stammers, Wednesday, 4 Jun 2014, 09:06
Sent my list poem ( c.f.n.) to the Writers' News Competition yesterday. Today I read it to a group of friends and there was a burst of laughter after the final line. I assumed that they were amused by the poem, but they may have been embarrassed, or hysterical with relief.
After reading a story to the Scriptores last Monday I decided to emphasize the climax. Originally, after being assaulted by a rival whilst dancing the heroine rushes into the arms of her date who is just arriving. Now she falls to the floor during the assault and is rescued by the manager when the lights go up and the music stops. He accompanies her to the bar where the farmer she dated is clad in muddy boots and a stained overcoat waiting for the uproar to subside.
The heroine now has to wait, after the brutality, for the hero's embrace; a more satisfying ending I trow.
I read a story by Ruth Rendell last night about a man and woman who are holidaying in Africa whilst attempting to revive their marriage. The jungle made an interesting setting. There were some spooky moments and an exciting climax but after a subtle reversal the ending seemed weak to me.
'When We're Dancing'
Sent my list poem ( c.f.n.) to the Writers' News Competition yesterday. Today I read it to a group of friends and there was a burst of laughter after the final line. I assumed that they were amused by the poem, but they may have been embarrassed, or hysterical with relief.
After reading a story to the Scriptores last Monday I decided to emphasize the climax. Originally, after being assaulted by a rival whilst dancing the heroine rushes into the arms of her date who is just arriving. Now she falls to the floor during the assault and is rescued by the manager when the lights go up and the music stops. He accompanies her to the bar where the farmer she dated is clad in muddy boots and a stained overcoat waiting for the uproar to subside.
The heroine now has to wait, after the brutality, for the hero's embrace; a more satisfying ending I trow.
I read a story by Ruth Rendell last night about a man and woman who are holidaying in Africa whilst attempting to revive their marriage. The jungle made an interesting setting. There were some spooky moments and an exciting climax but after a subtle reversal the ending seemed weak to me.