Personal Blogs

I was standing at the back gate, having a fag, when I heard the following conversation between two wee boys.

"He was blind in his left ear".

"How can you be blind in an ear?"

The wee boys wandered off into the distance, hand-in-hands with their designated adults, so I never got to hear the rest of the conversation. But it got me thinking, this, a seeming mistake of words, a mistake that sharpened the point of, "he was deaf in his left ear", must have a name.

Indeed it does: Catachresis. I suppose that I must have come across this before but I'll admit that it has never registered as much as it did at that moment. This might be something to do with the way that I'm feeling.

For a while now I have been having vaguely serious mental problems. The pills are now kicking-in and I'm no longer worried about my long and medium term sanity.

What I do worry about is that I'm having short term problems; I've developed a phobia about doing what needs to be done now any time soon. My sense of smell has gone colour-blind; I only fall asleep when the alarm clock rings.

For over five years now I've trudged my OU path, hard-slow or easy-fast, whatever it has always been there at the front for me. Now, in my last few months, when I should be working hard to reap the crop on which I've spent such effort on I can hardly be bothered. 

It isn't as if I'm no longer interested, the other day I spent a couple of hours and several sheets of paper looking for a good algorithm for something that had utterly no purpose to me. Today I watched the bees positively bearding upon my cotoneaster and wondered, again, how bees work. I still want to know and I still realize that it is only through maths and computing that I can know what it is that I want to.

But I wonder if I am deaf in my right eye.