Me: Thank you for joining me on my blog. It's a lonely place. Probably a bit like the universe before Big Bang.
God: That was lonelier I'd say.
Me: Can you say a few words about yourself?
God: I am.
Me: Is that it?
God: It's concise and comprehensive.
Me: Fair enough. Returning to Big Bang, doesn't it annoy you when people say the universe kind of created itself without any help from you?
God: No. I made the original lump of rock that exploded. Time didn't exist before Big Bang. People can say what they like. It doesn't change things.
Me: But it shows lack of respect.
God: I'm used to it.
Me: Time didn't exist before Big Bang. Are you sure?
God: Professor Hawking and I agree on that.
Me: So you weren't lonely very long.
God: A trillionth of a second. It seemed an eternity at the time.
Me: Do you regret creating the universe?
God: No.
Me: Well that's all we've got time for today. Many thanks. By the way, what do I call you?
God: God's fine or sir if you want to be informal.
Me: We'll go for informal. Sir. Do I hear you're doing Jeremy Kyle later today?
God: Heavily disguised. I'm going to be a fat chain-smoking alcoholic from Jaywick who cheats on his wife, exists on benefits and lives in a track suit.
Me: Surely not, sir.
God: I've got a soft spot for all my creations. They're great once you get to know them. Got to go. Good luck with the blog.
Me: One last question. Do you regret creating Jaywick?
God: Yes.
Me: Goodbye, sir. And thanks.
God: Ciao.
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Nice one
However, if time didn't exist, how can the boss say he was lonely for a trillionth of a second?. I think you should pull him up on that one but be prepared to side-step a thunderbolt if he gets annoyed.