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A minute with Napoleon

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Edited by William Konarzewski, Saturday, 18 Oct 2014, 13:17

Me: Good morning Mon Empereur.

Napoleon: Bon jour, Guillaume.

Me: Many thanks for joining me on my blog. It's nearly as lonely a place as Chapelle Saint-Jérôme I'd guess.

Napoleon: Main non. I have more than a million visitors every year.

Me: But they don't all get inside the sarcophagus.

Napoleon: C'est vrai. That would be an invasion of my personal space.

Me: Why are you known by your first name when other important people are known by their second name? Like Wellington for example if I may mention him.

Napoleon: Wellington is neither the first nor second name of Arthur Wesley.

Me: I think you mean Wellesley.

Napoleon: Non. He was born Wesley. Perhaps he change it later.

Me: I'll check it out. Thanks. How does it feel to be the greatest Frenchman who ever lived apart from William the Conqueror.

Napoleon: Actually I'm a Corsican of Italian descent whilst William the Bastard was a Viking.

Me: Mais naturellement.

Napoleon: How much research do you do before conducting your interviews?

Me: Un petit peu.

Napoleon: Pas assez.

Me: Would it be true to say you are the founder of the European Community?

Napoleon: Yes.

Me: Was that your vision all along?

Napoleon: Mais naturellement.

Me: Didn't you go about it the wrong way? I mean the Napoleonic wars cost over a million lives?

Napoleon: It is how you say breaking omelettes to make eggs?

Me: Something similar. Any comments on your defeat at  Waterloo?

Napoleon: It was a disaster for Europe.

Me: Don't you mean for you personally and France?

Napoleon: No. Had I won at Waterloo, there would have been no First World War and no Second World War.

Me: Are you sure?

Napoleon: Absolument.

Me: One final question, do you have any regrets?

Napoleon: Moi? Je ne regrette rien.

Me: Many thanks. I'd better let you get back to Paris.

Napoleon: Merci et au revoir.

 

 

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