Me: Thanks for joining me on this Sabbath morning, sir.
God: The Sabbath was yesterday. Today is Sunday.
Me: Surely that depends on one's faith.
God: Not so. The Sabbath is the Sabbath is the Sabbath.
Me: Today hundreds of thousands of Christians will have forgotten to wind back their watches and will turn up to church an hour early. Any comments?
God: 1,294 to be precise. Congregations aren't what they used to be.
Me: How did Jeremy Kyle go?
God: You watched. You tell me.
Me: You were convincing. Who were those mingers in tracksuits that claimed to be various partners, past, present and future?
God: Creations.
Me: You mean you created them just for the show.
God: Exactly.
Me: Where are they now?
God: They no longer exist.
Me: So you killed them off like actresses in a soap opera that have gone past their sell-by date.
God: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Me: I don't know quite what to say.
God: Say nothing.
Me: Is that ethical?
God: Ethics are a meaningless concept outside a framework of morality and the law.
Me: You mean you decide what's ethical, moral and legal?
God: Do you have any better ideas?
Me: If I did, I'd keep them to myself.
God: I see the green shoots of spiritual growth.
Me: I'm working on it, sir.
God: Don't let up.
Me: Minute's gone. We're done. Many thanks. What's next on your agenda, sir?
God: An interview with David Frost.
Me: But he died last year.
God: Not a problem. Ciao.
A minute with God (2) - Created beings
Me: Thanks for joining me on this Sabbath morning, sir.
God: The Sabbath was yesterday. Today is Sunday.
Me: Surely that depends on one's faith.
God: Not so. The Sabbath is the Sabbath is the Sabbath.
Me: Today hundreds of thousands of Christians will have forgotten to wind back their watches and will turn up to church an hour early. Any comments?
God: 1,294 to be precise. Congregations aren't what they used to be.
Me: How did Jeremy Kyle go?
God: You watched. You tell me.
Me: You were convincing. Who were those mingers in tracksuits that claimed to be various partners, past, present and future?
God: Creations.
Me: You mean you created them just for the show.
God: Exactly.
Me: Where are they now?
God: They no longer exist.
Me: So you killed them off like actresses in a soap opera that have gone past their sell-by date.
God: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Me: I don't know quite what to say.
God: Say nothing.
Me: Is that ethical?
God: Ethics are a meaningless concept outside a framework of morality and the law.
Me: You mean you decide what's ethical, moral and legal?
God: Do you have any better ideas?
Me: If I did, I'd keep them to myself.
God: I see the green shoots of spiritual growth.
Me: I'm working on it, sir.
God: Don't let up.
Me: Minute's gone. We're done. Many thanks. What's next on your agenda, sir?
God: An interview with David Frost.
Me: But he died last year.
God: Not a problem. Ciao.