Personal Blogs

Imogen: Do you believe in God?

Hermione: That’s a really interesting question, Imogen. I think some of the things in the Bible aren’t very convincing. Like the miracles. On the other hand, it’s difficult to see how the world could be so beautiful without the hand of a divine creator. I mean you can’t say the human eye just created itself although Richard Dawkins... 

Imogen: Yes or no.

Hermione: Definitely maybe. What about you?

Imogen: Of course. Vere's family have believed in God since the Flood. Anyway, we've decided you're coming to the carol service with us this afternoon at St Piran’s.

Hermione: I didn’t know you were church goers. Hugo never said.

Imogen: We’re not. One can end up sitting beside the kind of person one would normally avoid

Hermione: Then why are you going to church?

Imogen: Lord Hamptonshire has invited us.

Hermione: Surely you could make an excuse.

Imogen: Not at Christmas. He’s invited us to share the Hamptonshire family pew which has been reserved for his family since 1372, with the exception of those few years when that hideous egalitarian Cromwell ran the country.

Hermione: I suppose if we can share Lord Hamptonshire’s family pew that’s fine.

Imogen: It is made from carved rosewood. Henry VIII and Good Queen Bess have sat in it.

Hermione: How fabulous. I love history.

Imogen: And it’s nicely boxed in so you don’t have the great unwashed getting too close.

Hermione: Another USP.

Vere: Hwah! Hwah! I love all those modern terms you keep using.

Hermione: Does Lord Hamptonshire believe in God?

Vere: If he doesn’t, at least he identifies closely with him. Hwah! Hwah!

Hermione: So we don’t need to get to the church too early. Carol services are usually terribly crowded.

Imogen: This service won’t be too crowded.

Hermione: How can you be so sure?

Imogen: All the carols are sung in Latin or Cornish Gaelic.

Hermione: Isn’t that a bit exclusive?

Imogen: A necessary evil. But you should be grateful.

Hermione: Why?

Imogen: Because you’ll be sitting in the ordinary pews.

Hermione: I thought I was going to share the Lord Hamptonshire family pew.

Vere: Not quite enough places, old girl.

Imogen: You’ll be with Jasper and Seraphima. You can’t expect them to sit all by themselves.

Hermione: Surely we can all squeeze in.

Imogen: One does not play sardines at St Piran’s.

Vere: However, Lord Hamptonshire wants you to come to Hamptonshire Court for mulled wine and mince pies afterwards.

Hermione: That’s gracious of him.

Vere: The old boy’s taken quite a shine to you.

Hermione: As he demonstrated during lunch at the races.

Vere: Hwah! Hwah! Great character Lord H. Enjoys his Krug. Always notices a pretty girl.

Imogen: Which reminds me, he’s going to sing a solo and he wants you to turn the pages of the music book.

Hermione: What a terrific honour. What’s he going to sing?

Vere: Regis olim urbe David.

Hermione: What?

Imogen: Once in royal David’s city.

Hermione: I don’t imagine anyone will notice if he gets the words wrong.

Vere: Hwah! Hwah! Very witty. Lucky chap Hugo.

Hermione: Who will of course be joining me in the yokel pews.

Vere: Hwah! Hwah! Hwah! Hwah! Sharp as mustard. Hwah! Hwah!

Note: Hermione apologises for her recent absence but Imogen has been staying in Claridge's to do her Christmas shopping. She and Imogen will be publishing three conversations next week for the benefit of those who need to escape from the harsh realities of Christmas. W