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Yet another nadir of the soul.... sigh

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Edited by Neil Anderson, Tuesday, 6 Jan 2015, 18:03

I don't know what I know, what I want, or what others want for me.

Pretty normal goth crap? Aye, but a wee bit sad for someone who has spent seven years knowing what he knows and what he wants. [What other people want of you is always a bit slippy.] 

I blew up this year, and I'm still a bit blown up. The people who love me tread carefully around me, the people who hate me fire into the mix, and parade the scars that I gave them.

And yet I have all the rubbish-of-my-mind that I've typed into the great here-abouts. Much of it is rubbish, indeed most of it is, but surely I was right once?

I know that this doesn't work; I need to pay off my debts, sort my bonce and dive once again into the what-I-don't-yet-understand.

I've spent most of my life failing.

Neither I, or my appointened/imposed judges have ever felt that because I ballsed up something that I was off the hook.

I wonder what would have happened if I was successful?

As if.

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