Personal Blogs

Sad to say my mental health has failed me yet again, so upsetting . I have worked so hard in terms of medication and therapy to get control of this wretched illness, yet it defeats me time and again. I think I have finally cracked it and am going to be like normal people, that is of sound mind, a balanced and stable mind, then the evil demon  raises it's ugly head and reminds me of it's existance.

Suffice to say I am in the middle of a mood swing a mixed state which means at the drop of a hat I can rip some ones head off if they annoy me . I hate this I don't want to be angry  I hate being angry with people yet I had to ask myself was I well enough to carry on my course when in one week I argued with 3 members of the public over things one would normally let go. I can't sleep, I am wrestless, I am on the go, I can't relax, Can't sit still, my mind is all over the place and I feel paranoid. So to escape I cancel everything that is my degree, my voluntary jobs all engagements and retreat to the safety of my home away from the puplic so they can't hurt me and I won't hurt them.

After a few days of more medication I realise I have acted rashly I miss my studies though on the meds I would not be able to produce the depth needed for a level 3 course TMA let alone an EMA. However, thanks to the OU's simpathetic system I have been able to defer my course till October 2016 but I am not sure as yet whether it is possible for the IT department to retrieve my 2 TMA's so I may have to start again. Sucks to suffer with bi-polar. However, at least I have a chance to finish this degree.