One down. I can't exactly claim to have studied it, but I did sort of overview it. And then I printed it out, which is the sort of 'not condusive to learning' study that I appear to be such an active fan of. So that's all I'm doing today, and it's ticked the box for 8th May, so I am now under a month behind. In one out of my three courses.
It occurred to me today that my friends who were at the funeral last month have not contacted me since. None of them. I've tried to contact one of them but have had no reply. And today I sent a message to another, and currently no reply, though that wasn't so long ago. I wonder why that is. I think it's the longest that I haven't heard from any of them. It must be linked to the funeral. I'm worried now that there is an awkwardness between us that I was unaware of.
I feel completely exhausted after my weekend of fun. I could have happily slept all day today, and that's very unusual for me. I think I overdid it a bit. And now my body is punishing me. I got it back a bit this morning though by going to the gym. That deprived it of much of the energy it was using to make me suffer. I'm pleased too; I managed to stay sensible, didn't keep running even though I could have and stopped well before I felt like I'd had a decent run. So it did nothing for my anxiety levels, but as it is, it looks like my foot has coped with it, though tomorrow will be the telling point on that one. There was an old man in there who was astonishingly fit, and I found it really difficult not to watch him. Normally I hate to watch people, but there was something about him that made me want to chat with him over lunch. You don't very often see people of that age looking so great, I guess.
On my way home, I spotted a man at the end of the road in a blue boiler suit. As soon as I spot someone ahead of me, my heart rate increases slightly, and I put my head down, and try to keep walking normally. Or on bad days I cross the road, many many times, which is silly. Anyway, on this particular road, there isn't really anywhere to cross to, so I kept going. The man went right in the middle of the pavement and I could feel him staring at me, and could sense him sort of bobbing up and down as though trying to get my attention. I did not look up, but I was thinking some quite mean thoughts about this man who was clearly trying to intimidate me, by taking up the whole pavement and no doubt expecting me to walk in the road. I did my very best to ignore him and stay out of his way, until eventually I heard an 'alright Rosie' in my ears, looked up, and the man was in fact an old friend. Who I haven't seen for a long time. And what's the first thing I say to him? Not a friendly hello. No, a rant about how he freaked me out. And then an apology for the rant. And sometime later, finally, a hello and how are you. It was not what I would consider a successful unexpected meeting. My handling of unexpected situations seems to be further crumbling in the past few weeks. I'm meant to be getting better, not worse! Oh well, I suppose not running away could be considered the success.
Anyway, having quite wrongly convinced myself that I have worked very hard today, I'm going to go and chill and watch bollocks on the TV. Lovely.
A lesson a day to pass the iCMA
6 days. 6 lessons.
One down. I can't exactly claim to have studied it, but I did sort of overview it. And then I printed it out, which is the sort of 'not condusive to learning' study that I appear to be such an active fan of. So that's all I'm doing today, and it's ticked the box for 8th May, so I am now under a month behind. In one out of my three courses.
It occurred to me today that my friends who were at the funeral last month have not contacted me since. None of them. I've tried to contact one of them but have had no reply. And today I sent a message to another, and currently no reply, though that wasn't so long ago. I wonder why that is. I think it's the longest that I haven't heard from any of them. It must be linked to the funeral. I'm worried now that there is an awkwardness between us that I was unaware of.
I feel completely exhausted after my weekend of fun. I could have happily slept all day today, and that's very unusual for me. I think I overdid it a bit. And now my body is punishing me. I got it back a bit this morning though by going to the gym. That deprived it of much of the energy it was using to make me suffer. I'm pleased too; I managed to stay sensible, didn't keep running even though I could have and stopped well before I felt like I'd had a decent run. So it did nothing for my anxiety levels, but as it is, it looks like my foot has coped with it, though tomorrow will be the telling point on that one. There was an old man in there who was astonishingly fit, and I found it really difficult not to watch him. Normally I hate to watch people, but there was something about him that made me want to chat with him over lunch. You don't very often see people of that age looking so great, I guess.
On my way home, I spotted a man at the end of the road in a blue boiler suit. As soon as I spot someone ahead of me, my heart rate increases slightly, and I put my head down, and try to keep walking normally. Or on bad days I cross the road, many many times, which is silly. Anyway, on this particular road, there isn't really anywhere to cross to, so I kept going. The man went right in the middle of the pavement and I could feel him staring at me, and could sense him sort of bobbing up and down as though trying to get my attention. I did not look up, but I was thinking some quite mean thoughts about this man who was clearly trying to intimidate me, by taking up the whole pavement and no doubt expecting me to walk in the road. I did my very best to ignore him and stay out of his way, until eventually I heard an 'alright Rosie' in my ears, looked up, and the man was in fact an old friend. Who I haven't seen for a long time. And what's the first thing I say to him? Not a friendly hello. No, a rant about how he freaked me out. And then an apology for the rant. And sometime later, finally, a hello and how are you. It was not what I would consider a successful unexpected meeting. My handling of unexpected situations seems to be further crumbling in the past few weeks. I'm meant to be getting better, not worse! Oh well, I suppose not running away could be considered the success.
Anyway, having quite wrongly convinced myself that I have worked very hard today, I'm going to go and chill and watch bollocks on the TV. Lovely.