One day! Don't worry, you haven't missed anything today. It is just a description of my nightmare which ruined my night. And the fact that my doctor gave me another batch of sleeping tablets when I told him of my recent stresses.
Since I last updated you I think what's happened is that I met my step-dad, then my biological dad, then my step-dad and his wife, and then the other day my step-dad on his own again. He introduced me to two of his landscapers as his step-daughter. It felt so weird and good to be someone's daughter again, in any capacity. The meeting with my biological dad was incredible; totally mind-blowing.
I've had hundreds of childhood memories returning to me; mostly disturbing, but some happy ones. I've dicovered my mother fits the diagnostic criteria for psychopathy, my father paid maintenance until I was 18 (despite the fact I had left home three years previously) and that he knew me until I was 18 months old (not six weeks as I thought).
Having spent my whole life being disbelieved about the true behaviour of my mother, I suddenly have two people in my life who have lived with it themselves and actually know what it was like. As a result, my whole life feels as though it is being re-written, and I swing wildly between coping remarkably well and coping remarkably badly. Hence the visit to the doctor today in order to reinstate my counselling sessions. Job done.
There's been a lot of emotion, a lot of anger, a lot of reflection and a lot of self-analysis. There's been a fair bit of music, as always, a Valentine's cock-up, a tutorial, some new flags on my flag counter, some amusing spam and a drink-fuelled weekend in Manchester.
I reckon that brings you about up to date, and saved several hours of reading.
Boo! Torches and pitchforks time then. Are you happy to put me through the ringer on a daily basis? You are a cruel mistress. I shall have to cause a worldwide sherbert fountain and marmite shortage as revenge.
Thanks Ol... wise words indeed. I've been told many times it's okay not to be okay. If I learnt that lesson I reckon I'd be sorted. Maybe that's why I can't learn it!
Thank you Rosie, I want to give you a really big hug and tell it'll all be fine. But I can't do that in any capacity. So instead I will say WELL DONE and HURRAH for ROSIE! you are a rather special individual and I salute you!!!!!!!!!!
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I wish Rosie, I could one day lift the................... Parental controls on this Laptop and be able see into your world.New comment
One day! Don't worry, you haven't missed anything today. It is just a description of my nightmare which ruined my night. And the fact that my doctor gave me another batch of sleeping tablets when I told him of my recent stresses.
Since I last updated you I think what's happened is that I met my step-dad, then my biological dad, then my step-dad and his wife, and then the other day my step-dad on his own again. He introduced me to two of his landscapers as his step-daughter. It felt so weird and good to be someone's daughter again, in any capacity. The meeting with my biological dad was incredible; totally mind-blowing.
I've had hundreds of childhood memories returning to me; mostly disturbing, but some happy ones. I've dicovered my mother fits the diagnostic criteria for psychopathy, my father paid maintenance until I was 18 (despite the fact I had left home three years previously) and that he knew me until I was 18 months old (not six weeks as I thought).
Having spent my whole life being disbelieved about the true behaviour of my mother, I suddenly have two people in my life who have lived with it themselves and actually know what it was like. As a result, my whole life feels as though it is being re-written, and I swing wildly between coping remarkably well and coping remarkably badly. Hence the visit to the doctor today in order to reinstate my counselling sessions. Job done.
There's been a lot of emotion, a lot of anger, a lot of reflection and a lot of self-analysis. There's been a fair bit of music, as always, a Valentine's cock-up, a tutorial, some new flags on my flag counter, some amusing spam and a drink-fuelled weekend in Manchester.
I reckon that brings you about up to date, and saved several hours of reading.
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Crikey - The Rosie Digest. Not sure which I prefer. The emotional rollercoaster or that one where I skip to the end and find out nobody died.New comment
Ha ha, yes, decisions decisions! Though the Rosie digest is not a regular feature, to be clear! ;)New comment
Boo! Torches and pitchforks time then. Are you happy to put me through the ringer on a daily basis? You are a cruel mistress. I shall have to cause a worldwide sherbert fountain and marmite shortage as revenge.New comment
Would it help if I started and ended all of my posts when I am okay with "I am okay"??
I already have a fairly good stock pile of sherbert fountains, but I just finished the marmite so I'd better get to the shops pronto!!
Incidentally, Ol, I am okay!
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It does not mean anything if it is merely a placatory gesture young lady!New comment
It's not... I am always okay. It is my fate to be okay!!New comment
It's okay to not be okay sometimes, okay? Ha ha ha.New comment
Thanks Ol... wise words indeed. I've been told many times it's okay not to be okay. If I learnt that lesson I reckon I'd be sorted. Maybe that's why I can't learn it!New comment
Thank you Rosie, I want to give you a really big hug and tell it'll all be fine. But I can't do that in any capacity. So instead I will say WELL DONE and HURRAH for ROSIE! you are a rather special individual and I salute you!!!!!!!!!!New comment
Why thank you Nathan; I am honoured.New comment
No need, just know that it is I that should be honoured to know you.