Personal Blogs

No point coming on here if you want to read a Blog.  I never write them.  Well, I say never but of course, that is not true.  I am writing this now.  However, this is only to tell you I either never remember, during the fraught days of study and imminent Assignment closing dates, to write one.  Or when I do remember, cannot think of anything to say that will add to the world's rich source of wisdom.  This is a particularly worrying trait as I want to be a writer.  Not a Booker Prize type of writer, but more a magazine, short story sort of writer.  To do this I need to have loads of stuff to write about and the ability to keep pouring the stuff out in interesting prose that magazine editors will love.  Drawing in thousands of new readers with each new publication.  The evidence, sadly, is that it is not going to happen.  So I better revert to plan 'B.'  Whatever that is.  

Failure is not a new thing for me.  A magazine short story writer is just another step down the slippery slope of failed ambition.  It all started with my ambition to be '008' working along with 007 James Bond stopping very rich bad guys.  My failure to convince MI6 that I was the right material has resulted in the loss of a potentially great assassin.  For example, Trump would have been stopped well before his drive for world domination.  I see him now, sitting on the toilet, his wig on his knees, stroking it with one small pudgy hand as he Twitters obscenities with the other. He does not know how lucky he is to have been saved from my planned horrible death.  He would have fallen into a pit of ravenous Rednecks and KKK acolytes wearing a pink jumpsuit with 'Nazcar Sucks' emblazoned on his back and tattoos of  Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King on his floppy biceps. (Please don't tell anyone of this plan, as I think and hope it may still happen.  I am afraid it will not be my failed hand but by some other saviour of humanity.  I suspect that due to the recent MI6 policy of reverse discrimination, it will be Jean Bond, James' secret twin sister. Jean, if you read my plan for Trump in the TOP SECRET file you are handed,  I am here to help.  We can meet up in a plush room at the Dorchester.  I will keep the champers on ice.)

Now I am studying Philosophy (A222).  The idea here is that when I get my degree, I can write philosophical books and earn loads of money giving lectures.  I have been watching Philosophers on YouTube.  Nobody understands a word they are saying, but they say it with such confidence people think they are hearing great words of wisdom.  I can do that.  I have been in politics for 40 years.  I just have to memorise the names of emminent and historical Philosophers, with a bit about what they said and throw them randomly into my writing and speeches and nobody will be the wiser.  

Well, back next year for another Blog.  Good luck with your studies.  

P.S. I was not joking Jean.