Personal Blogs

I've done it. I've enrolled. After years about thinking about, and seriously regretting never going to uni, I'm embarking on a uni-adventure.

But it's due to sad circumstances that I'm here. My husband passed away in March last year after an incredibly short illness (he survived for 83 days after symptoms began on 4th January, that turned out to be aggressive, inoperable brain cancer). Prior to that I'd been an off-and-on full-time carer for five years for my adult daughter who had cardiac and respiratory failure on top of a huge amount of health problems. Thankfully (I'm touching wood) she completed her degree and is now a nurse.

So after all that sadness (which, to be honest, I'm still struggling with at times) I've decided to take some time out for me. I've been working on a novel for ages and have now been taken on by a lovely mentor who keeps me on track (I'm supposed to be working on it at this very moment but have been diverted by the shiny OU website). I've bought an old campervan and the plan is to visit as much of the British Isles as I can during the next few years. And I've signed up for a BA (Honours) English Literature and Creative Writing.

Someone said to me shortly after my husband died that every cloud has a silver lining. I thinks she was trying to cheer me up. To be honest, no, I don't believe there are silver linings. What I do believe is that I am resilient and I am making the best of the hand I've been dealt. I wish things were different. I wish my husband was still here and we were making plans and moving on together. But wishes are useless, impractical things - the stuff of fairy tales.

Instead, I'm immersing myself in a world of writing, reading, study, and wandering. And, I think, I'm as happy with this set of cards as I can be.