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Dear Blog, if someone had said to me ten years ago;

'Nick, you will make it. You will do that English Degree that you've always wanted to do!'

I would have shrunk into a corner and told them that, no, that will never happen for me.  My default mindset was always 'I'm not intelligent enough. My memory is no good. I don't have the time. I don't have the money.'

Excuses. Procrastination.

But I have been on a journey, and if I have learnt anything about myself in the last ten years, then it is that I can do anything if I really set my mind to it.  I just wanted to write, you see; creatively.  So I set myself challenges.

First up - was I capable of writing a book?  Well, yes, as it turns out. I plotted and planned and read 'how to' books.  Then I typed. And typed. And typed. Ninety six thousand words later I had my book.  What a day that was! I was ecstatic.

Ok, it was the first attempt by a novice writer, and it wasn't a best-seller.  But I had proved that I could.

While waiting for the 'Manuscript Assessment' service at The Literary Consultancy in London to get back to me, I set about writing a children's narrative poem to keep myself occupied.  A friend suggested that I should join a writing group for support, encouragement and critique, so that was my next challenge.

Was I brave enough to join a writing group and share my work with other people, reading it out to them?  Well, yes, as it turns out.  They loved my children's narrative poem so much that they insisted I get it published, and knew just the person to help me with illustrations.  Wow.  I was overwhelmed.

That children's poem became 'To Squeak and Hattie' which is bewilderingly still listed on Amazon. Bewildering, because no one ever bought it!  But I didn't care, I was so proud of it...

I really love poetry, so my next challenge for myself was, am I capable of writing a sonnet?  Well, yes, as it turns out. While on holiday in the Lake District I set to the task of writing my first, called, appropriately, 'On Returning to Cumbria' which I am still very proud of, and I have written several since, including my own version of a 'Crown of Sonnets'.

Next challenge; was I capable of writing a villanelle?  Well, yes, as it turns out.

Meanwhile, back at the writing group, I was now the proud creator of no less than twenty four short stories, and I eventually had enough poems written to develop a poetry collection for publication.

I had come so far in a few short years, achieved so many things, but I still felt there was something missing.  I didn't feel professional. I didn't feel I knew enough about, or had studied properly, my chosen passion. So that got me thinking, could I do that English Degree?

So, sitting here in my lodgings gazing out of the window as a bitter easterly wind rushes down my road, my 'colocataire' pumping iron in the next room, my landlord downstairs chuckling to himself as he watches amusing YouTube videos, and 'Li'l Cat' curled up on my feet, keeping them warm, I realise that I am at the end of a long journey, but also at the beginning of another.

Am I really capable of dong an English Degree?  Well, yes...