I'm really struggling right now to focus on doing the FHEA essay.
Look, I'm even procrastinating by writing a blog post about this procrastination.
It's not even particularly hard. Like I've done the tough stuff already by doing the mapping tool and a postgraduate certificate in online teaching. This should be money for old rope. What's wrong with me?
I can't stop thinking that this is just like when I did the Duke of Edinburgh's award. Completed all the activities and tasks, did the trek. Then promptly refused to submit the evidence for an easy Bronze. I can't help but feel that this isn't neurotypical procrastination but autistic bloodymindedness (which is not the official term, the experts call it autistic inertia and apparently it's linked with depression and -I'm guessing- burnout. Because right now I really feel burnt out.)
Small steps - that's my answer. Like I realised in the group call that I am probably not reflecting the right way - I'm autistic, ruminating endlessly about everything I've ever done wrong comes naturally to me, but I need to talk about what/how/why not just how terrible I am. I've already 2 of the 5 sections for my essay, so I'm in a strong place. Today I'm going to revisit my already written statements and edit them and improve them based on the information provided in the session. Then I'll start on the third section, and then the fourth and finally the fifth. At which point I will email it to my mentor for suggestions.
Summer Holidays 2: The one where I navel gaze...
I'm really struggling right now to focus on doing the FHEA essay.
Look, I'm even procrastinating by writing a blog post about this procrastination.
It's not even particularly hard. Like I've done the tough stuff already by doing the mapping tool and a postgraduate certificate in online teaching. This should be money for old rope. What's wrong with me?
I can't stop thinking that this is just like when I did the Duke of Edinburgh's award. Completed all the activities and tasks, did the trek. Then promptly refused to submit the evidence for an easy Bronze. I can't help but feel that this isn't neurotypical procrastination but autistic bloodymindedness (which is not the official term, the experts call it autistic inertia and apparently it's linked with depression and -I'm guessing- burnout. Because right now I really feel burnt out.)
Small steps - that's my answer. Like I realised in the group call that I am probably not reflecting the right way - I'm autistic, ruminating endlessly about everything I've ever done wrong comes naturally to me, but I need to talk about what/how/why not just how terrible I am. I've already 2 of the 5 sections for my essay, so I'm in a strong place. Today I'm going to revisit my already written statements and edit them and improve them based on the information provided in the session. Then I'll start on the third section, and then the fourth and finally the fifth. At which point I will email it to my mentor for suggestions.