Edited by Kate Blackham, Tuesday, 12 Nov 2024, 14:37
I'm writing this to get my thoughts out.
Long story short, I found out that a person I know has blocked me on LinkedIn.
I don't know why or when they did this. Only that they did.
I've blocked people on LinkedIn myself. But I restrict it to people that have bullied me or straight up lied to my face or been in some way abusive, who I am afraid would, if they found me, come back around to laugh at me and gloat about how much better their lives are than mine. And randoms whose pages I have accidentaly clicked on with my fumble fingers, and then I panicked and blocked in case I seemed weird (which most probably is not at all an unhinged way of behaving online, I'm sure).
I'm guessing there are quite possibly several people who have blocked me online - I don't know, I daren't go looking to be honest. My autism (and the consequent rejection sensitive dysphoria we nearly all have) means I don't dare reach out to connect to people online, I won't ask you to be my Facebook friend and I won't ask you to be a LinkedIn connection. Years ago I had a LinkedIn connection with someone else. Then one day I spotted him in the 'people you might know' section - which was weird as we were supposed to be already connections. I haven't seen him be recommended for several years now so I half suspect he may have solved the problem by blocking me. Perhaps I should have reached out earlier, but I'm not sure how well someone who has gone to the trouble of unconnecting is going to take me reaching out? Like if someone doesn't want you in their life, you kind of have to do your best to respect their wishes.
There was a really, really famous paper called The KKK won't let me play (link to OU Library source here: The KKK won't let me play: ostracism even by a despised outgroup hurts.: EBSCOhost) about how rejection always hurts. Even when it comes from someone you despise, that you don't even want to associate with. So an ostracisation from someone you like and respect and considered a friend is always going to be extremely painful.
That and my general meh-ness with LinkedIn right now meant I just decided I was better off shutting the whole thing down. I would love to work more hours and get paid more - but I want to do that here at the OU. I have no intention of trying to get a new job at another company. I really, really like being an AL. It's so nice to finally have a job where I feel useful and needed and not like a burden to the company and the rest of the team. Like I can finally do something good for other people. So if I'm not actively or passively job-hunting and my self-esteem is taking a hit, then what, actually, is the point.
I hibernated my LinkedIn profile
Long story short, I found out that a person I know has blocked me on LinkedIn.
I don't know why or when they did this. Only that they did.
I've blocked people on LinkedIn myself. But I restrict it to people that have bullied me or straight up lied to my face or been in some way abusive, who I am afraid would, if they found me, come back around to laugh at me and gloat about how much better their lives are than mine. And randoms whose pages I have accidentaly clicked on with my fumble fingers, and then I panicked and blocked in case I seemed weird (which most probably is not at all an unhinged way of behaving online, I'm sure).
I'm guessing there are quite possibly several people who have blocked me online - I don't know, I daren't go looking to be honest. My autism (and the consequent rejection sensitive dysphoria we nearly all have) means I don't dare reach out to connect to people online, I won't ask you to be my Facebook friend and I won't ask you to be a LinkedIn connection. Years ago I had a LinkedIn connection with someone else. Then one day I spotted him in the 'people you might know' section - which was weird as we were supposed to be already connections. I haven't seen him be recommended for several years now so I half suspect he may have solved the problem by blocking me. Perhaps I should have reached out earlier, but I'm not sure how well someone who has gone to the trouble of unconnecting is going to take me reaching out? Like if someone doesn't want you in their life, you kind of have to do your best to respect their wishes.
There was a really, really famous paper called The KKK won't let me play (link to OU Library source here: The KKK won't let me play: ostracism even by a despised outgroup hurts.: EBSCOhost) about how rejection always hurts. Even when it comes from someone you despise, that you don't even want to associate with. So an ostracisation from someone you like and respect and considered a friend is always going to be extremely painful.
That and my general meh-ness with LinkedIn right now meant I just decided I was better off shutting the whole thing down. I would love to work more hours and get paid more - but I want to do that here at the OU. I have no intention of trying to get a new job at another company. I really, really like being an AL. It's so nice to finally have a job where I feel useful and needed and not like a burden to the company and the rest of the team. Like I can finally do something good for other people. So if I'm not actively or passively job-hunting and my self-esteem is taking a hit, then what, actually, is the point.