I have had the results of a Workshop extract from my EMA and also from TMA 05, another section.
Comments are much as expected - more character development, more tension and conflict, and perhaps more SF realism about the space ship section.
My my mixture of First Person, Present Tense with Third Person, Past Tense has been questioned again by my Tutor. So I have rewritten the flashbacks (That's about 85% of the EMA) in First Person. This took about three days but was worth it. It's helped me to move inside the mind of the narrator. I have expanded two sections with his thoughts and emotions as he relates to two different women. Both needed careful management to stay within the bounds of my target Young Adult audience. My references to nudity and sex are non-explicit but I hope that readers can fill in the blanks.
This has added to the word count. But I have done some ruthless pruning - taking out unwanted adverbs and deleting sentences that weren't essential.
I'm sort of ignoring TMA 06, hoping it will go away.
The most significant thing is that this is the week of the heatwave. It's 34 degrees at the moment.
35 Major Changes
I have had the results of a Workshop extract from my EMA and also from TMA 05, another section.
Comments are much as expected - more character development, more tension and conflict, and perhaps more SF realism about the space ship section.
My my mixture of First Person, Present Tense with Third Person, Past Tense has been questioned again by my Tutor. So I have rewritten the flashbacks (That's about 85% of the EMA) in First Person. This took about three days but was worth it. It's helped me to move inside the mind of the narrator. I have expanded two sections with his thoughts and emotions as he relates to two different women. Both needed careful management to stay within the bounds of my target Young Adult audience. My references to nudity and sex are non-explicit but I hope that readers can fill in the blanks.
This has added to the word count. But I have done some ruthless pruning - taking out unwanted adverbs and deleting sentences that weren't essential.
I'm sort of ignoring TMA 06, hoping it will go away.
The most significant thing is that this is the week of the heatwave. It's 34 degrees at the moment.
Alan