Personal Blogs

well, why I blog[2]

My school has an embedded police-person, he said to me once, “my first partner told me to slow down…if you are walking too fast you aren’t watching”. Life is like that—it’s easy to let it go past without enjoying it.

Every morning and evening I walk along the canal, dodging the joggers and cyclists who don’t see what I see—the wild-flowers, the bees, the kingfisher, the perch, the big pike, the day spring arrives, the day autumn comes…they are going too fast. That’s [partly] what blogging is—looking, properly, at your life and remembering it for future reference.

Let’s take my M208 as an example: reading my posts back I see a pattern—a nagging sense of dissatisfaction with myself. Why? Aye, there’s the rub—there’s the looking and then there’s understanding. If you don’t read your own stuff back and reflect then you’ve missed half the point—blogging gives you a platform to make you better. So…

Partly, I think, that it’s down to my lack of technique, I’m a great fan of technique. [I can do some of the working, but it doesn’t come naturally.] So far, with maths, I’ve been reliant on the technique that I learnt at school, where I understood nothing. Now I’m grasping at the understanding without having developed the technique. I feel unsafe.

Developing technique takes time and effort, I haven’t made the time or the effort; I think that I need to. I could just ignore this and still pass, but that’s what I’ve been doing—‘working’ the course rather that working at it. I’m doing this [OU stuff] for me, if I fail nothing will change except my conception of me.

That’s a reason to blog—I might have come to this realization of what was wrong without it, but I suspect that I wouldn’t have. It’s easier to be honest when the person you are trying to lie to is your own words.