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getting back...

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Edited by Neil Anderson, Saturday, 24 Mar 2012, 00:18

2012—03—23

getting back…and problems

Because I’m, again, marooned, in my other building, on a Friday night where I can’t post to my nonsense I will format it as if I was posting there; and fix it tomorrow.

Tonight we have the PTA race-night. Which is OK as they are all getting drunk and I condone that type of behavior. They tend to interrupt a janny trying to focus on his maths and there are, what might be their, strange yoofs gathering outside. Still, I’m always up for nonsense…and the quashing thereof.

how’s maths?

Slowly-slowly this week I’ve been ramping my maths back up to speed.

I’ve been on back-shift: but every day I’ve tried to do a wee-bit before, during and after work. Some days it hasn’t panned out. Most days I’ve gone to bed with a fear in my heart.

I made a decision last week—one that I think was the right one—to just do something. I think that it’s paid off. Here is the balance sheet:

  • Woefully behind at work: disciplinary action hovers over my bonce for my massive undone
  • I have a tutorial tomorrow, the venue has been changed, I might not even be able to find the place—never mind do the maths involved.
  • I looked at the course-fora for the first time in ages today, I didn’t have the bottle to open up a single post, nevermind reply
  • I’m a whole four weeks behind with the groups course. For the first time ever I can’t read Nilo’s stuff, because it’s like a blade turned into my failure.
  • I’m still behind on the topology course
  • The end of the financial year is coming up, there is everything that I haven’t done.

still…

Been here before, will be again. I’m alive, I have food, drink and drink-drink and a better life that 99% of the people on this planet have ever had…

The problem is, that, often, in your day-to-day the above doesn’t make you feel better, when you have been massively blessed; to be thwarted once or asked to pay seems to be an imposition of the worst kind. All you see is that others have more, others who out-shine you with their…, others—cheats & scoundrels all, do better than you. Just others.

Tonight I found the first diagram in the topology units that actually reduced my understanding of a concept. [Although these diagrams have been on a cusp for a while.] Something that I’d predicted.

I don’t care about others. Any more.

Now, it's just me.

{obviously I will edit out the many mistakes that I've made}

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