Personal Blogs

Danny and I were sitting in the office, the business manager was walking past the window, clutching his bottom for some reason. Whatever the reason, it was the last place in the world that he should have been doing this.

"Holding them up are we Bruce?" Danny shouted to him. Bruce came over to the counter.

"You pair are having a gir-affe, there's nothing wrong with my arse."

"You did ask your wife then?" I smiled pleasantly at him.

Whump! The look on his face told me all that I needed to know. He shook a fist at me.

"Right, I'll challenge you pair to a run round the school, we'll see who wins then." This was a wee bit infantile.

"Yeh but you've got an advantage there..."

"What advantage?"

"You aren't carrying the weight of a normal pair of buttocks." Danny made a whipping motion with his arm, "kkk-tsssh".

"I have buns of steel!"

Without missing a beat Danny came back with, "that's not what the head says". Pretty sharp I  thought. Bruce laughed, he could see that we were clearly winning here.

"You're a pair of bastards, remember that I am your boss. I'll get you sometime." He smiled and stalked off heron-fashion.

We'd prepared the next bit in advance, we sang our ditty...

"Woke up this morning and my bottom was gone,

Ooooh, oooh canny find my cheek-cheeks

Where's my bottom gone?

Where's my bottom gone?

Faaar down ma leeegs"

[Sung to the tune of chirpy-chirpy-cheep-cheep]

Today we rehearsed the dance to accompany it. I've arranged with the media studies department to video it so that we can put it on YouTube.