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The week before term begins is always a long week for a janny. Shitehawk contractors, who took the beginning of the summer holidays off, and bare-faced lied to you, get all antsy when you insist that they honour their promise to piss-off off-site when they said that they would.

"But it won't be finished", some particular idiot joiner said to me today. I could have said much. I could have hit him with the scaffolding pole that shouldn't have still been lying in the corridor. I took him to an example of his work.

I pointed at it, "why?".

What we had was yer actual crapload of window furniture, a whole whack of restricters, locks and no less than three retainers.

"Security", he answered.

"That would be a security based on the fact that I'd have to break a few more windows to get in?"

"What do you mean?"

"See that" I gestured, nay I gesticulated, "what's to stop me breaking that pane, that pane and that pane and getting round all your crap?"

"They have window locks."

"I have widow locks, you have window locks, for all we know heaven has window locks. And, you know what? they all have the same key. A key that I can buy from a cobbler."

He changed tack.

"Well, that computer room isn't really secure, we need to do that."

"This would be the computer room that you removed the grills from eight weeks ago?" And haven't done fuck-all to since was the sub-text.

"That wasn't us".

"So who was it? Fairys? And if you were so fucking concerned about security you've done good job of hiding it. You've resisted mentioning these facts right up to the fucking moment that it suited you that they were facts."

He shut up at this point because he could see that I was narked.

Later that day I founds him rabbiting about in a room that he wasn't supposed to be in. So I locked him in. We'll see if he's still alive on Monday.