And by passed I mean just passed. Grade 4 by the tiniest of margins. I tell myself that I am too old for exams but even I realize that that's a vile self-serving lie to let me off lightly. I just couldn't do it, maths was beyond my ken.
Still now they, the maths courses, are gone, past and passed. How do I feel? Strangely odd, I wanted to do better but that stuff was hard. I do computer stuff without much bother, when it came to maths I was always panic-threshing at something that I didn't quite get. Too often I found myself writing my TMAs drunk with music blasting and ,if my wife wasn't there, an incoherence of dancing too. I enjoyed myself and submitted pish.
Was I wrong to do maths? I can answer that with a definite no! I may not have covered myself in any glory, the pale of failure was mine but I learnt a different way to think. I thought about the way that I think.
It's ok to be an idiot, at something, for a while, as long as it helps you to be wise elsewhere. Maths did that for me.
Every thing that I will do in the rest of my life will be coloured by that fact that I had the bottle to tackle maths. Or the insights that I got there.
I failed in what I set out to do, but I am not unchanged. And perhaps to be changed was what I should have set out to be?
Things I can do well, as someone once said of Ajax, "some God gave me", maths, what I got from that I worked for. Hard and with some effort.
I'm proud of what little I know.
Comments
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Best wishes. I think exams really are a young person's activity - like war. But the beauty of the OU is that they reward the persistent. I'm over in OU land mopping up a few blog entries for my external blog - still in touch with a handful of people way back. Good luck.New comment
I've never understood maths at the level you have been studying it - I am told it is more akin to philosophy?New comment
Nice oneNew comment
Like you say, maths isn't easy for many & determination is what sets you apart.
I did all of 1 maths course with the OU & it bored me to tears. As much as I like to challenge myself, I only really did it because I wanted to prove that I could. I then moved on to far more interesting courses!
You did good, you've got a higher level of maths than most of those you work with, I bet.
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You passed, Nellie. Well done, it's still an amazing achievement. If I took maths they'd probably have to invent a new grade below a fail. Be proud!
Kx
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Well done you. Maths isn't easy and I only completed an openings course before deciding it wasn't for me and so admire those who can and do.New comment
Yes, very well done. A pass is a pass which is what I must tell myself every time I go to the "assessment calculator" to input the latest figures from my TMA's and find that level 4 is all I'll be getting, too.
Maths - fun and interesting, but difficult for many, me included.
BE PROUD OF YOUR ACHIEVMENT.
A bevvy whilst producing a pass is to be applauded, but not too regularly.
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Thanks all for the kind messages, this meant a lot to me.
Maths, especially the pure maths that I did, requires an attention to detail that isn't natural for me. Which was a very good reason to have tried to do it. I'm doing a degree to learn, not to get a job; so what's the point if I stick to the things that I'm good at?
Two and a half [computer] courses left to getting my degree!
Thanks again...
neo [in hacker mode
]