A New Language: Wow! If only you knew?

You buy your teenage daughter a mobile phone, and it makes you feel a responsible parent. Now, wherever she is, you are able to call her, and of course, she is always able to contact you. You hear the constant beep – beep – beep of her text messages.

One message follows another without as much as a pause. She tells you her friends are texting and will call round later; good you think, at least I know she will be safe; no danger with all her girl friends being in the house, studying or doing their school-homework and you feel pleased with yourself.

Her friends arrive, and what is the first thing they do? They hardly talk to each other. Phones out – yes, you have it: text, text, text, buzz – buzz – buzz, and it never stops.

What can they possibly be saying? Her friends are all with her, but they are doing the same, texting. You wonder if they are texting each other! Don’t kids talk face to face any longer?

Your daughter, with her friends, leave the lounge to go to her bedroom, but inadvertently she leaves her phone on the arm of the chair, now is your chance to peek glance. You take a quick surreptitious look at all the text messages, then wished you hadn’t bothered. Now you are even more confused.

To you it’s just gobbledygook, no harm there you think, and you place the phone back on the arm of the chair, feeling a little guilty that you have looked at the messages on her phone, but not overly, you are a concerned parent. You want to know your daughter is not meeting with the wrong type of people, and now you feel a little more contented.

Then you start to think about the acronyms, TDTM - RUH - PIR – P911. There were loads more acronyms; in fact, every one of the messages was an acronym and made no sense whatsoever. You peek again at the messages, and write down a few on a scrap of paper.

Your mind now is in overdrive, and you start to believe your child is somewhat dyslexic, and wonder why you hadn’t noticed before now. Then you sigh, her school grades were always good, not even a hint of learning difficulties.

Relieved, you put the kettle on to make yourself a cup of tea and, as you just sit down to start to drink it, the phone on the armchair goes into overdrive, text message follows text message, and before you have finished placing your empty tea cup back on the saucer, you count thirty buzzes. The old grey sells start to bubble, you think perhaps her whole school is texting her; indeed, she must be a very popular girl and you contentedly smile.

You grow quite relaxed about the whole thing, thinking, the innocence of the youth, my daughter is a well-liked girl, and always-in demand by her friends. Nothing to worry about there and you smile again to yourself, a bit of harmless texting. Still, something niggles at the back of your mind.

What could it be?

You look at your scrap of paper; your daughter comes into the room; She smiles at you as you turn the scrap of paper over not for her to see. She picks up her phone and immediately leaves without saying a word. You turn the scrap of paper over and look at your scribbling – POS – NIFOC – MOS – KPC – IWSN – IAYM – GNOC – GYPO – IMESRU – DUM - DUSL – IF/IB - Kitty - SorG – RU/18 - MPFB – ILF/MD – FMLTWIA - ASL – Pron – Banana - 420 – 143 – 182 – 8 – 1174, and so the mystery deepens.

You shrug your shoulder and rip up the paper, throw the bits into the wastepaper bin, and decide to go for a walk; after all, they are only a few letters and numbers.

If only!

Let’s see what the first four acronyms mean

TDTM----------Talk Dirty To Me!
RUH------------Are You Horny?
PIR-------------Parent In Room.
P911------------Parent Alert

The others

POS-----------Parent Over Shoulder or/ Piece Of Sh**
NIFOC--------Nude In Front Of The Computer.
MOS----------Mum Over Shoulder
KPC---------- Keeping Parents Clueless
IWSN---------I Want Sex Now
IAYM---------I Am Your Master
GNOC-------- Get Naked ON Cam
GYPO-------- Get Your Pants Off
IMESRU------I Am Easy, Are You?
DUM----------Do You Masturbate?
DUSL---------Do You Scream Loud?
IF/IB---------In The Front Or In The Back?
Kitty----------Vagina
SorG----------Straight Or Gay?
RU/18--------Are You Over Eighteen?
MPFB-------- My Personal Fu** Buddy
ILFM/MD--- I Love Male Dominance
FMLTWIA--- F*** Me Like The Whore I Am
ASL---------- Age, Sex, Location
Pron----------Porn
Banana-------Penis-------------(no need to be a genius to work that one out!)
420---------- Marijuana
143-----------I Love You!
182-----------I Hate You!
8-------------Oral Sex
1174--------- Nude Club
Don't choke, you were young once!