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Richard Walker

The Language of Flowers

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 21 July 2015, 14:24

As more and further evidence that our Team are Close to the Concerns of the Nation and at the same time -

Well and hale in point of body

Healthy in mind

Sound in mental conception

etc. etc

- we offer the following floral arrangement, or 'ensemble of horticulturalist daffynitions'.

Rose: Orthogonal to columns.

Columbine: Purchase of columns. Usually illegal.

Violets: Aggressive problem resolution.

Feverfew: Gosh, I'm hot!

Primrose: Inhibited rose.

Larkspur: Unlikely purring of lark.

Clematis: So come on, eat yours.

Orchid: Metal Mickey.

Speedwell: Dialect comment in first person plural on successful urinary function, for example after communal consumption of Dandelions.

Peony: Still got problems?

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Richard Walker

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Come on now, will you not offer something extra?

Q. What vegetable might a landlord refer to at the end of a convivial evening?

Me in a rare cheerful mood

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Deadly Nightshade - the dodgy curtain track that's screwed into the ceiling in the bedroom window alcove.

Jasmine - German confirmation of ownership.

Carnation - all those people living in queues on the M6, M25, M1, Operation Stack on the M20, etc.

"Q. What vegetable might a landlord refer to at the end of a convivial evening?"

I've spent about 15 minutes on this.  Gizza clue.

Richard Walker

Clue :)

"That was your life, Mate! Oh, that was quick. Do I get another? Sorry, Mate. That's your lot"

B. Fawlty

Richard Walker

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And what herb might the publican might include in her admonition? And what fictional detective?

I can take any amount of punishment.

Richard Walker

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= pun intended