Edited by Aideen Devine, Monday, 13 Mar 2017, 20:30
I'm on a roll tonight, 3 posts in a row. Well, I haven't posted in a while but now that the books have been put away the creative juices have started flowing again. This poem is from my level 3 creative writing course and has been hanging around for a while. One of the things I learned from the course is that writing evolves over time and like good wine needs time to mature. I got good feedback on this when I first wrote it and I hope I have improved it in this version. This could be the final version, I'll not know until I come back to it at some point in the future and see if there's something I want to change..I feel I'm missing a line or two after 'disapproval' but I can't think of anything I want to put in there yet. Anyway, here it is....enjoy (I hope)
The Awakening
Ssshh! She is sleeping, peacefully
under the frosted covers
and all is still, except
the rhythmic cycle of her breath.
The children stand in silent contemplation,
swayed by the rise and fall of her chest,
her breasts: waiting.
Waiting for the light to lengthen the day
Waiting for the heat to penetrate the cold mantle of her skin.
Waiting to be called from the darkness
where they rest, to rise and dress
Her.
In a gorgeous cloak of velvet green.
Green! Those greens! Those bold and brazen greens!
Poetry
I'm on a roll tonight, 3 posts in a row. Well, I haven't posted in a while but now that the books have been put away the creative juices have started flowing again. This poem is from my level 3 creative writing course and has been hanging around for a while. One of the things I learned from the course is that writing evolves over time and like good wine needs time to mature. I got good feedback on this when I first wrote it and I hope I have improved it in this version. This could be the final version, I'll not know until I come back to it at some point in the future and see if there's something I want to change..I feel I'm missing a line or two after 'disapproval' but I can't think of anything I want to put in there yet. Anyway, here it is....enjoy (I hope)
The Awakening
Ssshh! She is sleeping, peacefully
under the frosted covers
and all is still, except
the rhythmic cycle of her breath.
The children stand in silent contemplation,
swayed by the rise and fall of her chest,
her breasts: waiting.
Waiting for the light to lengthen the day
Waiting for the heat to penetrate the cold mantle of her skin.
Waiting to be called from the darkness
where they rest, to rise and dress
Her.
In a gorgeous cloak of velvet green.
Green! Those greens! Those bold and brazen greens!
Lively limes lust over flashy emeralds
but obstinate olive holds the ground
as sassy sage flirts outrageously
with dark broody bottles and precocious jades.
Vivacious, verdant mosses,
mass and march over field and hill,
in a luscious invasion of tree and hedgerow,
Hanging with happy orange and laughing yellows
as those radical reds antagonize
the philosophical purples in a
cacophonous discourse on colour;
while blousy blues look on in disapproval.
Look! look! A snowdrop!
She is awake!