OU blog

Personal Blogs



Visible to anyone in the world
Edited by Aideen Devine, Monday, 13 Mar 2017, 20:30

I'm on a roll tonight, 3 posts in a row.  Well, I haven't posted in a while but now that the books have been put away the creative juices have started flowing again. This poem is from my level 3 creative writing course and has been hanging around for a while.  One of the things I learned from the course is that writing evolves over time and like good wine needs time to mature.  I got good feedback on this when I first wrote it and I hope I have improved it in this version. This could be the final version, I'll not know until I come back to it at some point in the future and see if there's something I want to change..I feel I'm missing a line or two after 'disapproval' but I can't think of anything I want to put in there yet.  Anyway, here it is....enjoy (I hope)

The Awakening

Ssshh!  She is sleeping, peacefully

under the frosted covers

and all is still, except 

the rhythmic cycle of her breath.

The children stand in silent contemplation,

swayed by the rise and fall of her chest,

her breasts: waiting.

Waiting for the light to lengthen the day

Waiting for the heat to penetrate the cold mantle of her skin.

Waiting to be called from the darkness

where they rest, to rise and dress


In a gorgeous cloak of velvet green.

Green!  Those greens!  Those bold and brazen greens!

Lively limes lust over flashy emeralds

but obstinate olive holds the ground

as sassy sage flirts outrageously

with dark broody bottles and precocious jades.

Vivacious, verdant mosses,

mass and march over field and hill,

in a luscious invasion of tree and hedgerow, 

Hanging with happy orange and laughing yellows

as those radical reds antagonize

the philosophical purples in a

cacophonous discourse on colour;

while blousy blues look on in disapproval.

Look! look! A snowdrop!

She is awake!

Permalink Add your comment
Share post