Edited by Kevin Francomb, Wednesday, 26 Oct 2016, 09:51
The trip to Scotland was horrible. We were going up so my wife could say bye to her terminally ill grandmother. What should have been a 6h 30m trip took 11 hours on Friday. Saturday & Sunday were not only emotional due to the hospice visit, but demanding as Dougs got up at about 5am. He was in an unusual place with none of his retreats to have a rest. It was challenging. Then Monday we headed home ........ nearly didn't make it. The car started getting problems about 250 miles away from home. The breakdown company refused to tow us home. I made the decision to try and limp the car home. 170 miles later we hit Kidderminster and complete breakdown at 1815. I couldn't fix the car anymore and stopped trying at 1900. In a last ditch desperate attempt to sort out getting home I read my breakdown policy and found the loop hole, called them and they sent out a truck to pick me up. 2245 we get home.
Yesterday was spent investigating the car fault and feeling sorry for myself.
Today I've woken up feeling refreshed and alert. Decided that today I need a win. I worked out a few years ago that the only way to stop depressing negative stuff making me depressed and start a spiral of depression and self destruction - was to halt the spiral with a win. Something positive that I can build upon and start the upward spiral of success.
By 0830 I started studying. Due to kids I didn't really get much done in the first hour, but that's ok. I've taken the first step.
To highlight how important that is to me, yesterday when I was feeling low, physically and emotionally worn, with the car still out of action I started thinking I'd done the wrong thing signing up to OU. My mind started looking at other lives, changes that could be made etc ...... in short, I was thinking of giving up.
Luckily when this happens I'm very aware that it is happening, hence why I have coping mechanisms to help. What I need is a few more wins and to be free of problems for a little bit.
Todays study so far is going ok (even if it takes me an hour to do 20 mins worth). I think my mind is moulding itself to the topic and I still understand what its talking about.
A difficult few days
The trip to Scotland was horrible. We were going up so my wife could say bye to her terminally ill grandmother. What should have been a 6h 30m trip took 11 hours on Friday. Saturday & Sunday were not only emotional due to the hospice visit, but demanding as Dougs got up at about 5am. He was in an unusual place with none of his retreats to have a rest. It was challenging. Then Monday we headed home ........ nearly didn't make it. The car started getting problems about 250 miles away from home. The breakdown company refused to tow us home. I made the decision to try and limp the car home. 170 miles later we hit Kidderminster and complete breakdown at 1815. I couldn't fix the car anymore and stopped trying at 1900. In a last ditch desperate attempt to sort out getting home I read my breakdown policy and found the loop hole, called them and they sent out a truck to pick me up. 2245 we get home.
Yesterday was spent investigating the car fault and feeling sorry for myself.
Today I've woken up feeling refreshed and alert. Decided that today I need a win. I worked out a few years ago that the only way to stop depressing negative stuff making me depressed and start a spiral of depression and self destruction - was to halt the spiral with a win. Something positive that I can build upon and start the upward spiral of success.
By 0830 I started studying. Due to kids I didn't really get much done in the first hour, but that's ok. I've taken the first step.
To highlight how important that is to me, yesterday when I was feeling low, physically and emotionally worn, with the car still out of action I started thinking I'd done the wrong thing signing up to OU. My mind started looking at other lives, changes that could be made etc ...... in short, I was thinking of giving up.
Luckily when this happens I'm very aware that it is happening, hence why I have coping mechanisms to help. What I need is a few more wins and to be free of problems for a little bit.
Todays study so far is going ok (even if it takes me an hour to do 20 mins worth). I think my mind is moulding itself to the topic and I still understand what its talking about.