Personal Blogs

The trip to Scotland was horrible. We were going up so my wife could say bye to her terminally ill grandmother. What should have been a 6h 30m trip took 11 hours on Friday. Saturday & Sunday were not only emotional due to the hospice visit, but demanding as Dougs got up at about 5am. He was in an unusual place with none of his retreats to have a rest. It was challenging. Then Monday we headed home ........ nearly didn't make it. The car started getting problems about 250 miles away from home. The breakdown company refused to tow us home. I made the decision to try and limp the car home. 170 miles later we hit Kidderminster and complete breakdown at 1815. I couldn't fix the car anymore and stopped trying at 1900. In a last ditch desperate attempt to sort out getting home I read my breakdown policy and found the loop hole, called them and they sent out a truck to pick me up. 2245 we get home.

Yesterday was spent investigating the car fault and feeling sorry for myself.

Today I've woken up feeling refreshed and alert. Decided that today I need a win. I worked out a few years ago that the only way to stop depressing negative stuff making me depressed and start a spiral of depression and self destruction - was to halt the spiral with a win. Something positive that I can build upon and start the upward spiral of success.

By 0830 I started studying. Due to kids I didn't really get much done in the first hour, but that's ok. I've taken the first step.

To highlight how important that is to me, yesterday when I was feeling low, physically and emotionally worn, with the car still out of action I started thinking I'd done the wrong thing signing up to OU. My mind started looking at other lives, changes that could be made etc ...... in short, I was thinking of giving up.

Luckily when this happens I'm very aware that it is happening, hence why I have coping mechanisms to help. What I need is a few more wins and to be free of problems for a little bit. 

Todays study so far is going ok (even if it takes me an hour to do 20 mins worth). I think my mind is moulding itself to the topic and I still understand what its talking about.

I'm certainly learning. Not just facts, but different ways of looking at things. My spelling is improving. Note taking is getting better.

Makes me wonder if I've wasted 20 years by not pursuing education?

Or has it taken me this time to appreciate what education can do?

Sounds like I should have done Psychology & Philosophy lol.

Didn't have a run this morning, just a morning poop and started studying. Small amounts of distraction, but otherwise a good session. Caught up on Mondays poor performance and am on schedule to finish Week 5 maybe tomorrow.

I'm not rushing ..... well I don't feel like I am. 

The concepts all seem fairly basic and I've managed to stop my inner voice from argueing with every ill-conceived point written hundreds of years ago. 

Just need to go for a run later and I will have sorted my day out nicely ...... oh and do the dishes  

My attempt to study today was pathetic. Just the introduction to the chapter I'm reading, just 2 pages.

Why?

Facebook and personal phone calls.

I was so easily distracted. This is frustrating as now the kids are home, football is on in a bit, I won't hit the books again tonight.

Need to fine tweak my morning routine for study. Maybe only turn facebook on in my coffee break.

Over the weekend there was no study. Out with the kids walking all Saturday. HMB training Sunday. Sometimes coming back to Monday studying is difficult. I'm beginning to see that pattern from this blog.

So the schedule says we should be on Week 2 and I've just finished Week 4.

Week 4 has been an easy week. Focused more on study skills than educating you on the topic. Writing in your own words has been a key focus. To get the 85%-100% you need to write in your own words. Seeing as I am ahead of the game, I should have time to try this out.

Yes I had a good nights sleep. This certainly does help with my studying.

Tomorrow its on to Week 5 and back to the book. Its harder, takes longer, but I enjoy it more.

By the time of my next tutorial (05/11) I should have the TMA01 pretty much done. I should be able to leave it a few days, work on Block 2 & then reread before submitting. I have a better chance of correcting errors etc.

Feeling positive.

Ok so I should only be on week 2 right now, but as mentioned before I ahead. In weeks 2 and 3 I had to spend most of the time studying using the book, which I thought was really good. Weeks 1 and 4 are all online activity based - and they suck!!!

I don't feel like I'm actually learning anything at all from the online activities. Its a real soul sucker. I feel reluctant to study at all knowing its online this week.

Thats a shame because I really enjoyed weeks 2 & 3.

Did a good 2 hours studying today virtually all online. Actually spent close to the recommended time on each topic. Focus was on developmental delays in children. Obviously a topic that hits close to home with little D. 

I choose this course by accident. I'm beginning to be glad I did. I tried searching for careers for so long that are worth doing or could help D and have been frustrated with that failure. I'm actually thinking I might take this further and work in this area.

Started searching careers yesterday. Didn't know there were that many types of psychologist and that virtually none of them would have your A-typical leather sofa to question people lol.

I'm enjoying this course a lot more than the access module I tried.

Did a few notes on my TMA today, to try and give me a head start later. Think I've already gathered enough evidence to complete it ......... Makes me wonder what on earth can be in the other study weeks.

Tutorial tomorrow - another new experience 

Didn't really do anything yesterday and only did a few pages so far today. Distractions are a study killer and it doesn't take much at the moment. 

I do feel like I'm developing a system while studying. Read and highlight important details in the book. Copy out the key points. Make an extra note of things that seemed important.

Time will tell if this works.

SFE should know by Monday if my finance application is successful. To be honest I don't think I will feel like a real student until it goes through.

Wednesday night is kids activity night so from about 8pm I might be able to get another bit of studying in. We'll see.

Week 2 study is much better than the stuff for week 1. With the kids at school and the wife at work I'm finding a fair bit of peace in which to study. Feel like I'm able to get lots done, making some good notes and starting to piece bits together.

Confirmed I'm on DE100 as of January. So for 5 months I'll be on the double bubble and not have much rest before the Level 2 stuff starts.

There is a huge mess regarding tutorials. I only learned the other day that I get actual class time and that Tutorials aren't 1 hour every 7 weeks like the access module. I'm really looking forward to that.

If I can keep this flow going, I think I will be ok.

Managed to get a bit of reading done today. Finished chapter 1. Making notes as I go. If I don't know the meaning of a word or phrase then I just write it down and follow it up later.

All seems good. 

Starting to get the brain in gear for the topic. Turns out my experienced with William might help me understand some of the points on Children's Rights.

To fill in the blanks - I dropped out.

I really didn't like the course. My last TMA was 85% and I did the whole 6 weeks in just 2 days. So I can do it and its not hard. Once it moved from poetry to music - it was end game. Such a crap course.

Yesterday I finally settled on a new course - Psychology!!!

Its the start of a degree. Just waiting for Student Finance to clear before its official. I'm not waiting though. I have access to the materials online and I'm reading through it all now.

Dougs is still on half days a school, which doesn't leave much time. He'll be full time by this time next week.

Lets see if I can keep this going this time