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Something to lighten the mood

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Edited by Gill Burrell, Tuesday, 1 Aug 2023, 18:54


What do you call your mum’s angry French sister?  A croiss aunt

My friend found a fish who thought she was a radio. It was a nightmare to tune- a!

What do you call a cold you get twice? A De ja-flu

Which country’s capital is the fastest growing?

Ireland- every year it’s Dublin !

The police came to my house and asked me where I was between 3 and 5.  I told them  I was  at Pre school

My son’s maths teacher called him average. I think he’s mean

Started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t had a gig yet.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s five years in a row now!

What do you call a group of whales on a TV show?

A pod cast

Who is the greatest chicken -killer in Shakespeare?

Macbeth because he did murder most foul!

My boss said I needed a pay rise - I said that three other companies were after me. He said  “Which ones?“  I replied  “The electricity, gas and the water”

Did you hear about the computer that got thrown into the ocean?  Now there’s A-Dell rolling in the deep!

I answered the door this morning and a 6 foot beetle punched me. Apparently there’s a nasty bug going round!

* Have You heard the joke about Covid 19?


If I tell you you might spread it!


Dad jokes by Kit&Andrew Chilvers

* unknown source

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