Day four and I'm feeling good about what's to come, I'm so glad I did an access course as I'm sure i would not have a clue what's going on, It really has prepared me for OU life.
Now for a little background and my motivations, inspirations and passions. I'm from a Romany Gypsy background and the requirements from me and school was to the learn the basics, i.e.; read and wright, then leave school and learn the Romany way of life. This meant I was taken out of school when I was 13 to take part in the family businesses.
At 13 I was traveling to the US, driving lorries, rearing horses and fully taking part in an adult world, as Romanies grow up pretty fast. Now while that seemed cool at the time, I was not prepared for what was about to unfold within the inner workings of my family, which would not prepare me for life outside my family unit.
To cut a long story short my idols as a kid i.e.: my father, my brother would turn out to be the opposite to what I was led to believe. On the 14th of June 2007 my brother murdered a rival criminal and was sentenced to life imprisonment and my father was brutally murdered on 14th of June 2011. Now some would say these acts were poetic justice as my father had a dark side and my brother chose a life of risk, I would say thats life, if you live by the sword you will die by the sword, I dont rely on karma as a coping mechanism, I rely on my own being to face and accept the harsh reality that life can offer.
Needless to say I had to look for different role models.
Upon the revelations of my family and the events that took place, I took solace in substance misuse and waved goodbye to the fantasies I had romanticizing about my Romany background, I also said goodbye to decades of my life lost in self pity, blame and self harm.
All of what I have said is the back bone of my OU endeavours and the start to find out who I am and now the meaning of my life was in question. Well my friends after reaching abstinence and volunteering for a substance misuse charity for a number of years, I finally found out what the meaning of my life is.............The meaning of my life is to find my gift and give it away, and now that is what I do.
I have discovered that I have a nature to sit with life's strugglers and be as positive and solution focused as I can, not only that I have discovered I am pretty good at it and the feeling that is achieved by these action is something that my families wealth, which would cause so many problems, could not buy.
Any action of selflessness, compassion, empathy and appealing to my EQ as well as my IQ, seeing myself in others and treating myself like the 5 year old me are tools I choose to abide by now in my new life.
People who display these attributes are my new role models, motivators, inspirators and my celebrities, these are the people that I celebrate.
Believe me I am no Buddha nor an angel, I am only human too, at least now I have a new rule book.
WWG1WGA
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Hi Casper,
That's an incredible life story so thank you for writing about it on here. It really sounds like you've fought quite a battle in your life but must have some amazing strength to have dealt with all of that. Despite everything that's happened you're here learning even more and pushing forward so I hope you're feeling really proud of yourself. What is it that you're hoping to do going forward?
Best wishes,
Will,
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Thank you William for your kind words, I really appreciate it buddy, if I'm honest this is my first blog ever and I didn't expect any one to read it never mind reply, I'm quite surprised, so thank you for taking time out. I guess when I am fighting a battle I can get so absorbed in it that I can forget how I am doing and it becomes part of life, like normal and I forget to notice the the positive attributed about myself that got me through it, so I thank you again for reminding me. I am currently going through a carer change, I have been volunteering at a substance misuse charity for the past couple of years, I've also been doing various college course, open learn course and training course to learn more about the professional side, as I have personal experience I feel I need to match it academically, so that is where I intend my future to be. The reason I am undertaking a Social Science degree is about me re educating myself and training my brain to think again about a subject thats come from my heart and freedom to choose as opposed to what other people think i should do, I guess that the best bit about being older William, we get choose for ourselves, plus I'm hoping it will push out some stuff I dont want to know any more and replace it with something more substantial that will benefit others and myself at the same time, i really appreciate you taking time to listen and even respond, it really means a lot.