Once again the weekend is here, for me, time is passing so quickly. the days are shorter and COVID restrictions are turning the hole experience of living.............Well, I dont even think I have the words to describe life at the moment and all that we are experiencing. Its like a night at the movies that never ends, I've seen so many movies that depict the world as it is and its future. I truly do not believe that the predictions of possible future life, by certain authors, film makers, and cartoonist, are in fact not predictions. If I were to believe in what I have read about Sabbatai Zevi and Jacob Frank from the 1600 and 1700s, then I could not be mistaken for saying, what we are witnessing is a modern day version of their belief and rituals.
Some people discard QANON as a conspiracy theory, and they may well call it a conspiracy, as the word itself means, 'to talk about' and talk about it is what we do. The term 'conspiracy theory' was first coined by the CIA in the 1950s, and had never been heard or spoken of before then. The theory is that a kabbalist sect of satanic worshipping child trafficking paedophiles are alive and well in hollywood, another term you may of heard of is 'pizza gate' that is run by the the VERY ELITE in the world, involving many high profile people. Who indeed, in the act of believing in satin sacrifice human babies and drink their blood.
Now to any one who has studied satanism will know that sacrificing a human baby and drinking its blood is a satanic ritual and is the highest prize. What you will also be a wear of if you have studied satanism, is that, if satanics are to inflict any harm or carry out any of its rituals on any other human, then the ritual suggest that they have to tell the inflicted person or persons involved, which to me explains the so called prediction. they are not predicting the future, they are merely telling us what they are doing. So when you compare QANON to Sabbatai Zevi and Jacob Frank who were indeed around nearly 500 years ago, then it really does not seem that absurd does it. To any one who cant be bothered to research Sabbatai Zevi and Jacob Frank, I will give you a brief description of both
The Sabbateans (or Sabbatians) were a variety of Jewish followers, disciples, and believers in Sabbatai Zevi (1626–1676),[1][2][3] a Sephardic Jewish rabbi and Kabbalist who was proclaimed to be the Jewish Messiah in 1666 by Nathan of Gaza.[1][2] Vast numbers of Jews in the Jewish diaspora accepted his claims, even after he outwardly became an apostate due to his forced conversion to Islam in the same year.[1][2][3] Sabbatai Zevi's followers, both during his "Messiahship" and after his forced conversion to Islam, are known as Sabbatians.[1][3] Part of the Sabbatians lived on until well into 21st-century Turkey as descendants of the Dönme.
Jacob Frank Frankism is associated with the Sabbateans of Turkey, a religious movement that identified the 17th-century Jewish rabbi Sabbatai Zevi as the Messiah.[1][3] Like Frankism, the earlier forms of Sabbateanism believed that at least in some circumstances, antinomianism was the correct path.[7] Zevi himself would perform actions that violated traditional Jewish taboos, such as eating foods that were forbidden by kashrut (Jewish dietary laws) and celebrating prescribed fast days as feast days.[8] Especially after Zevi's death, a number of branches of Sabbateanism evolved, which disagreed among themselves over which aspects of traditional Judaism should be preserved and which discarded.[9] The more radical branches even engaged in sexual foreplay.[10] In Frankism, orgies featured prominently in ritual.[2]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEsG8_UyIdg
Now when you bare in mind what you have read above and think about, England, after Paganism, was a predominantly Christian country that upheld Christian beliefs and practices ,so when you compare it to today, you can clearly that Christianity has been infiltrated and, like so many religions before it, turned on its head. Pride is a deadly sin, yet we are being taught to celebrate it, judge not less ye be judged, yet every other TV program is a program that involves judging, notice they are called tv PROGRAMES, The term celebrity come from celebrated people, yet the people we are taught to celebrate are tv, movie stars and singers.
This is not an attempt to convert people or make them a wear of the world, merely a glimpse in my mind and the telling my thoughts, I expect nothing from the telling of my thoughts, I am just using this platform as a tool of expression.
WWG1WGA
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Hey Sarah, you are back, its good to hear from you, I thought I lost you for a moment,. I believe I should keep an open mind to all religion's, and never narrow down my learning opportunities. What good is having a mind if I dont use it huh? I believe lots of people shy away or create derogatory names for things that society doesn't accept, and they dont have the mental scope to listen to another persons reason as they dont want to be seen as going against the grain, basically I believe people can be scared to standout from the social norms. Wow, you have been to TST! I find that fascinating! Do you live in America? Please tell me about your reaction? When you say you will pray for me, do you pray to a god or an angel?.........So many questions, I am sorry, although very intrigued at the same time,
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Hey Sarah, it depends on what you mean by being tampered with. I think if we choose to follow a religion would that not be classed as being tampered with or influenced in some way. If that is the case then I think thats why I admire Eckhart Tole because his mind does not seem to be tampered with, he continues to live in the present, but if I choose to believe in him then isn't my mind being tampered with again. Is ant belief system classed as being tampered with? That's a well interesting point you made, although I would agree with you, I have never thought of it as luxury rather a skill,, but now you mention it its quite possible.
I'm not sure if I believe you should be scared of anything, as fear is a natural human emotion that can protect us sometimes, I dont believe that healthy fear should hold us back, but like I say if we had no fear at all could that not put us at risk, which takes me to your last question. One of the reason I jumped out of a plane was to over come some fears that I had carried with me all my life, another reason was to to overcome trust issues that I also had, and the last reason was to raise money and awareness for the substance missus charity I was working for at the time. That photo was taken five years ago. Here is a link you can watch it if you like. I believe that it did help me overcome some fear and trust issues, and I would 100% recommend it to anyone who had the same issues, as the feeling was the best feeling I have ever witnessed in my whole entire life, and more important to me it was very empowering. As for you living in Egypt I find that very exciting, my Fathers side of the family are Gypsies and when Gypsies migrated from India across eastern Europe it is said that people believed that they looked like Egyptian's and that where the name Gypsy comes from . I am happy you are back Sarah, I do like our conversations, good for you and thank you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdwqnTr7QXU
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You're welcome Sarah, thank you for looking at it. I'm completely open and honest with myself, if I be that with me, how can I be it to others. Jumping out of that plane was not as scary as I pretended to be. And what I mean by that is, I was taught to be scared, to the point it became habitual, I spent almost my entire life living in fear, and what I have realised now is that I was living in dear because that it what I was meant to do, I never challenged it. It was only until I was freefalling that I realised that, I believed I was doing something that was fearful so I prepared for fear, therefore acting fearful, but the truth of it, I was not scared, does that make sense? Now to be totally honest with you, the only time I was scared is when the chute opened, it was like I was just hanging in mid air with time to think, as apposed to freefalling with no time to think. The free fall was the part I enjoyed the most. What my psychologist and I figured out, the reason for this, is that I have spent my life living in uncertainty and surroundings that were unsafe, and that was replicated in my enjoyment of falling with no chute and my fear once the chute was open, basically being in relative safety, which i was not used to and therefore not comfortable with. It was not as noisy as I expected it to be, infract it was nothing like I expected it to be. It was better than that. And yes it did help with my trust and fear issues. It all started with me Sarah, I didn't trust myself, I was scared of myself and transferred that distrust and fear to every aspect of my life, until I ended up being fearful of my own shadow. The jump was one cog in the wheel, along with help from, psychologist, psychotherapist and neuro therapists. When I first decided I would do it until siting on the planes ledge, I would not accept that I was doing it, unless I was asking for sponsorship money, I totally switched off from the jump, and I believe it was going through that process that got me to the plans ledge, other wise I think I might of thought myself out of it.
I totally understand what you say, when you say you are living with a gift and a curse, and how you explain yourself in your last paragraph is the whole reason why I like our conversations. It seems to me you have a diverse way of thinking and I like that, it helps me to understand people and I like diversity from people who have an ability to think beyond the boundaries of mainstream thinking, my mind is fully open and willing to understand any one from any walk of life with any belief system. The fact that people wont let fashionable society beliefs dumb down their process is awesome and I say more power to them.
I have some awesome black and white photos of my ancestors Gypsy life style, i would love to show you them some time, and thank you for your kind words about Gypsies as Gypsies in the UK really do get a bad press, and how ever people believe that the UK is open to diversity and is not racist, that cannot be said when it comes to Gypsies in the UK, I'm also happy that you have appositive experience of us haha.
I'm very intrigued when you speak of your knowledge of me even before we started talking as I truly believe that there are some very intuitive people out there who have the ability to broaden there horizons and not be limited by there onw thoughts and who are scared of that, to me thats an attractive trait of character. Vanilla is ok, but vanilla is not for me.
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I believe uncontrolled fear can do a lot to a persons judgment and behaviours, so I understand why it would seem weird, as for my investigative nature I always search for why and how I do what I do, which overspills on to other people. I watch myself and other people, I analyse myself and other people. I'm like that annoying child in adult form who always asks 'why', I believe thats why I chose to study the Social Sciences, as my curiosity seems to surpassed individual psychology and moved on the cultures and the world in general. As for stray horse, they are no longer a direct part of my life, although visit members of my family who breed horses for dressage and for the personal enjoyment of them, due to the nature of my Father, he took the romance out of that life style and gave me reasons to choose to distance myself from that way of life, and since the murder of my Father in 2011, that gave me the opportunity to develop my own sense of self and pursue my own goals. My life was hugely shaped my by my Father and Brother, who had their own rules of how life should be lived. Mt brother was convicted of murder in 2007, and since his imprisonment, like my Father it gave me the opportunity to find myself and do what with my as I saw fit. I guess you could say those to incidents that were the cattle prod that spurred me to go back to studying and learn a new language, in order to forge a new trade and life style for myself. I do plan to adopt a horse from a rescue canter as I feel that the time I spend around horses has a phenomenal power over my mental health, of which I struggle with.I understand why you do not feel safe talking about yourself, although it makes me feel sad that you have had that area of self expression infiltrated by a belief system based on the negative interaction of a few undesirable characters. I suffered the same repression from my Father and Brother, and like I said earlier, since those incidents I am able to express myself with out fear of confrontation, so now, I say what I like, when I like, to who I like, always bearing in mind I dont want to offend, but now I have freedom to speak, to feel, to think, and to express that any way I choose. I only hope that one day you take the power back from the prying eyes and with dignity, speaking about what ever you choose, with out the thought of consequence.
As for trust, I find that more easy to deal with these days, as I expectations from humans has a very wide scope and the potential to let down by them is always an option that i do not have control over. I believe that people that what people give to people and how people treat others is a reflection of what people give to their selves and how they treat their selves, therefore I do not take it personally any more. i just revert back to that annoying child I mentioned earlier and ask 'why'.
Its funny what you said, as I always believed never trust any one who says 'trust me' haha. When you ask what sign am I, were you referring to 'star sign', if so its Scorpio, and the month is 11, and thank you for your well wishes in regards to my sobriety, as for 'how long'/ I do not know as I have chose to stop counting this time around.
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I think I may have across as not intended, what I was implying is, it makes me sad that people who mock people or victimise them in any way have the power to take away some ones trust, and change the normal way in which they would of generally acted, I was referring to you not wanting to talk about yourself because of people who have mocked you, I mean that what ever people do to us, I believe that its important for us to not let it change us. I was born in to a family of carer criminals and the darker side of a gypsy lifestyle. I was taken out of school when I was 13 and brutally taught how to rob, cheat, steal and lie, crime and criminals were glorified and any one who lived a law abiding, tax paying lifestyle was vilified. Because it was my Father and Brother who I admired at the time, I tried to be like them and was abused if I did not match up to their standards. I spent the first 40 years of my life trapped in a lifestyle I did not how to get out of. This lifestyle led to a 30 year drug addiction, 11 years homeless, going to prison in connection with my brothers murder conviction, two mental health disorders and a physical nerve condition which is psychosomatic, no trust in any one, no respect for any one and a general life of misery.
I was reared to view the world as a nasty place and the people were nasty too, so dont trust then, in laymen's terms f+@% them, get what you can from them and bol+@% to them. This meant any close relationships or intimate relationships I had I was unable to act in an appropriate manor that would lead to a successful relationship. All i wanted to do was fall in love with a woman and children and live happy ever after, but how would I even stand a chance with my Fathers teachings. Now I believe the world can be a beautiful place and that people can be beautiful too, and I no longer feel as lonely as I did.
Now since the the murder of my Father and my brothers life imprisonment, I was free from there idea of who they thought I should be in life and free to be me, and so I had to find new role models otherwise the chances of me ending up like my Father and Brother were very high. The idea of me doing a degree was me, was me literally going back to school to start a new and learn a new language so I could change my life script. And also it would balance my life experiences with my academic experience, as my goal is to add upon the work I have done with people who struggle with substance abuse, repeat offending and mental health. My Brother is also a post grad, and he plans to do the same upon his release, the bigger goal is for the both of us to work in the same field independently, forming our charity. Plus the opportunity to start some thing and see it through to the very end, which I was never able to do living in their world. I never want to end up like my brother or Father, no matter how much I loved them. I never suggested that you do the same degree or even question what or why you are doing one, if I offended you I apologise.
It would be nice to know what you are studying, although I understand if you do not want to tell me, I'm sorry you are not getting the most out of your studies, never the less, I wish you all the best, as I am sure you will succeed in what ever you choose to do.
I dont follow star signs so I'm ignorant to the characteristics of each individual one.
I am getting the vague idea that there has been suffering in your life, as much as I think I would be at bit naïve to imagine that there wasn't, our journeys are what make us what we are and get i the impression that you are a very strong willed lady who doesn't stand for any ones nonsense, which in my book is admirable.
People do not astound me any more as I believe anything is possible, whether that be negative or positive, my Father chose his path in life and paid the price as did my brother, I am not sorry for them, nor am I sorry for self, my sorrow lies with the peoples lives who they affected.
There is a fish in Australia that starts life as a male, then he shoots sperm in to the water, the same fish then changes sex in order to impregnate herself in order to give birth, once the fish has given birth, it changes back to a male fish, there is also a fish in the Antarctic that has a transparent head, in order for him to see above and through his head for hunting purposes. Now that astounds me.
I have no power how people choose to treat me, although I have the power to control how I let it affect me, and my reaction to it. I refuse to let my Father, Brother or my ex who coercively abused me including a stabbing, change me for the worse and I refuse to let what they did to me affect any relationship I have with any one, how dare they take any more of my life from me. I will be happy, I will succeed, I will trust and I will love again. Good luck to them and god bless them but in the same breath f+@% them.
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My eye sight is not what it used to be, so every time you change your profile picture I zoom in 500% to see what it looks like haha, the joys of getting old, I was 46just over a eek ago I wont ask how old you are as I believe its rude.
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I think I, I share your ability to concentrate, I struggle to slow down the washing machine like mind of mine haha, work in process. I like what you say about loving yourself first and having a relationship with yourself again work in process, but at least now I grasp the concept. I guess my candidness is based on the same concept, if I can not be truthful with my self then who can I be honest with any one else, thats why I think I treat strangers and people I know the same, plus the act of being one thing to one and another to another is a head game I can do with out, I find strangers the purest people as they have no preconceptions clouding their judgment. I also like what you say about the impact death can have on us, its a challenging exercise that has the power to shape us, i always try my hardest to get something positive out of it, I feel I owe to them and myself otherwise its all in vain, and I believe thats a greater loss. I think thats what I am drawn to Buddhism as it primary focus in the suffering and the nature of is, as depicted in the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. And also why I am drawn to people who are indeed suffering, as I truly believe that suffering and the passion and drive to over come it creates the most fascinating people who have the ability to make change and a positive impact that can be life changing for some. and I also believe that true wisdom does not exist with out suffering. I mean what good comes from winning all the time and getting it right all the time? I could never have these kinds of conversations with the bubble wrap society could I? And to me, these are the kind of conversations I thrive on. These types of conversation are about EQ not IQ, and EQ wins for me every time. I dont care for people who claim to be the cleverest, i have always believed that, if they are the smartest people in the room, then they are in the wrong room. I am sure you are not a geriatric nor now where near as old as what you feel, as I feel like a 60 year old who thinks he's an 18 year old haha. I Prefer people who are a matter of fact as it lets me no where I stand and I dont think you can go wrong with that.
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I have changed my profile pic, so you have an idea of who you are talking to, apparently it takes 24 hours, its a pic of me and my mum at my brothers wedding.
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If you go to the top right hand side of your screen, you will see three dots, click on that then click on +zoom, I know you are a private person, I'm not sure you have not divulged any info about your self, I mean I barely know anything about you, I would rather change the settings so one can see that blog, as opposed to deleting it, as I've started a journal type thing from day one that was designed to run through my entire study time, I hope thats ok, good luck with your tutorial, i have one too at 7.30.
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To be honest with you Sarah I'm not sure how I feel getting in to a conversation with someone to whom I'm being 'candid with' your words, who docent feel safe enough to trust her own words, I think its beyond being a private person and more of an insecurity of yours, not mine. In fact I do know how I feel and its annoying. If you dont trust yourself to have a normal conversation with me then I would rather not have one. So may be you should not comment on my Bloggs until you have worked on that relationship with yourself and feel comfortable enough to talk to me with out deleting what you have said. I dont need it, I'm working on my own insecurities, i dont need yours. I hope you see the sense in what i am saying, take care of yourself Sarah
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I dont care who you work for, thats your issue, not mine.
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Please stop, either talk to me or dont