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Day 105 of OU studies

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My mental health is on decline and i am doing exactly the opposite to what the professional people in my life have suggested i do, i am supposed to reach out, ask for help and tell somebody i am struggling and yet i can not seem to do it, yet here i am telling someone, maybe this is the first step, i am not sure. 

I haven't looked at my study books for days, getting motivated is a real problem right now.

Because i have been shielded with my Mother since last February, she seems to be the only person i am helping, there is an imaginary wall between my Mother and myself which stops me from opening up to her 'yes i am ok Mum' are the phrases i keep throwing at her, how on earth am i supposed to burden her with my issues? My Mother heeds help and support for her self too,. that was the whole point of me moving in.

Something has to change and i have just decided that tomorrow morning i will reach out to the people who can help me and i will, i am going too, what's the worst that can happen right?



WHG1WGA

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