Personal Blogs

Mondays are a good day for me, having spent the weekend cutting a family member's relationships from my life, that were having a negative impact on my mental health and my sobriety. 

Monday has brought about a feeling of clarity that i will carry forward with me and walk through the week without regret, guilt or shame, i have given my life to to this family member, only to be shot down when i am on my knees pleading for their support, i have studied our relationship for quite sometime now, so my decision has been a gradual one over time.

For the first time in my life, i am walking away from a family member with my head held high, feeling confident in my decision while feeling comfortable at the same time, conflictual confrontational outbursts of aggression, abuse, anger, threats of violence and sometimes violence are the way in which i am used to seeing my family resolve their issues.

Finally, i feel i am able to project my new belief in in life, 'the belief that has took the help of trained people over decades to install', without being met with criticism unwanted challenges and an alternative opinion of how i should really do it, or pressured in to a belief system that is not one i agree with.

I fell lighter just talking about it, the one thing i have learned, is that , just because i share a blood tie to people, doesn't mean i have to like them or indeed love them, i am not obliged to stick by them through blind loyalty, i dont have to put up with their behaviour, that, if it was taking out of a family context, would be classed as abuse, and i am allowed to put mental health above all with feeling guilt, shame or regret.

So here's to Monday and here's to a new way of dealing with things.

WWG1WGA