I threw the BMX in the camper and went to see the ole Smithy to reconnect with my people, i had to do something to get to grips with myself, as my mental health was plummeting, i was self harming and thinking of using, luckily my Uncle has acres so distancing wasn't a problem. Entering the professional world coming from a Romany Gypsy heritage is proving harder than i imagine.
WWG1WGA, only this time i went on my own Haha
Support your local Gypsy, you're supporting your Black people in your bid to end racism, dont forget the Romanies.
WWG1WGA
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Hi Brina, thank you for your response, I'm not sure if you saw the photos, i had to shrink them in order to post them, i hope by doing that they haven't lost their meaning.
Horses are beautiful animal, their psychology shares a similarity to humans, which they often tap in to and play games. I've spent a life time tapping into their psychology and playing them at heir own game.
They tend to flick their main, run away and play hard to get while sitting back while we chase them, pretty much like a pretty lady, fluttering her eye lashes, flicking her hair and playing hard to get while the male does all the chasing haha.
So i like to be the one who enters the field and reverses the psychology, i find it comical to watch. I enter the middle of the field ignoring them all, I'll find a place in the middle of the field to sit and roll a roll up, within 20 minutes i have all the horses sniffing and nibbling at my head and sneezing on me, licking my face, while they try to gain my attention, to which i get up, saying nothing, and walk to corner of the field, sit down and smoke and within minutes they are at my head again, its at that point that i know that i have them, so i do the same aging and move to another corner of the field, again, they are at my head nibbling, i know for sure now that i have them. I've managed to gain the attention and command of every horse, without saying a word, offering food or even making eye contact It, and it was that voiceless interaction that i had disconnected from.
It wasn't myself i lost faith in, if i am honest with you, faith in myself is what keeps me going, it is the new world of academia, that i have now become a part of, that i struggle to keep faith in.
The culture of learning academia and the mindset that comes with it was something that i could not imagined or anticipated and is something that has took me by surprise, to be truthful, i have found it a cold and soulless process so far, although i realise i have been taken out of my comfort zone and i have to embrace to the change.
It is common for Romany Gypsies to go to school long enough to learn the basics, reading, writing and basic math, then we are withdrawn from school to learn the Gypsy way, probably around the age of 9 or 10. Struggling to fit in to a gorger (non gypsy) way of life has always been a challenge and I guess that is the main reason why we do not mix cultures.
For personal reasons, i found myself in a position where i was to find more comfort out side of our culture, because of my fathers behaviour, and that was the basis of me learning a different culture whist feeling the loss of a culture that had been reared in to me from birth Its hard to.
Hence, i feel the need to reconnect with it and rediscover my identity, to gain some strength while i try to find my new identity.