My head is frazzled once again, i was so sure after yesterday being an awesome day, one that i haven't had for a while, that today was going to be the same, or there about, one wrong conversation with a family member and i was on the verge of self harming, using again and terrorising those sum bags that sell me the poison, if it wasn't for the fact that i am starting to reach out for help when i need it 'as opposed to my normal copping mechanism of catastrophising' i would actually be in the war zone now with fresh self harm scars and on a suicide mission to pump myself full of so much shit, just to get me out of head and in to another place, as crazy as all that sounds, i did in fact make progress by reaching out and asking for help at the right time and being lucky enough to have that special someone to vent to who is trained to deal with people like me, having a psycho/social intervention manager to rely on really is my saving grace, hopefully now that i have regained some kind of regular functioning, i can make a start on TMA04, which has to be handed in on the 4th. first i need to sleep, as last nights dram meant that my mediation proved to be useless, which meant i never managed to sleep and along with that comes the pain from nerve condition, when i was a kid i can clearly remember not wanting to be this when i grew up.
Day 149 of OU studies
My head is frazzled once again, i was so sure after yesterday being an awesome day, one that i haven't had for a while, that today was going to be the same, or there about, one wrong conversation with a family member and i was on the verge of self harming, using again and terrorising those sum bags that sell me the poison, if it wasn't for the fact that i am starting to reach out for help when i need it 'as opposed to my normal copping mechanism of catastrophising' i would actually be in the war zone now with fresh self harm scars and on a suicide mission to pump myself full of so much shit, just to get me out of head and in to another place, as crazy as all that sounds, i did in fact make progress by reaching out and asking for help at the right time and being lucky enough to have that special someone to vent to who is trained to deal with people like me, having a psycho/social intervention manager to rely on really is my saving grace, hopefully now that i have regained some kind of regular functioning, i can make a start on TMA04, which has to be handed in on the 4th. first i need to sleep, as last nights dram meant that my mediation proved to be useless, which meant i never managed to sleep and along with that comes the pain from nerve condition, when i was a kid i can clearly remember not wanting to be this when i grew up.
WWG1WGA