A fresh start to life as the morning rolls around again. The last few days have moved from that of uncomfortableness to having to check if i still have a pulse. I have spent time alone, reflecting on life as it is right now. It's at times like this when i remind myself that things could always be worse, i love, and i am loved, i have food, warmth and shelter. I try to convince myself i am not a material man and yet i am storing my material items in a place where they are safe so if the worst does come to the worst i will be able to have them to help me rebuild. Surly if i were not a material man then i would not be holding on to these items and feeling loss at the first hint of being without them.
I guess it is times like this when i realise that spirituality is way more than me saying "i believe in buddha" or "i do yoga" and "i meditate" or "i practise mindfulness", when the reality is, i am no more spiritual than i allow my mind to convince myself i am. The monks of Tibet or the Swami's of India openly choose to live without wealth or pocces material items, how easy was it for me to say "live without wealth or pocces material items", they are true masters of their minds and life, i am gathering my items like they are my body parts and storing them, in the hope that one day i can be reunited with them, how is that spiritual? That's as opposite to spiritual as i can get.
It's a joke that i could even think that i am comparable to those guys, never mind actually comparing myself to them, i am an over privileged man from the western world who lives in a society that has given him all he has ever needed an so much more, i have used it and abused it and held my hand out for more, i have no idea what it's like to have to walk for dirty water, i have no idea what it's like for my government to want to kill me, i have no idea what it's like to wake up to the sound of bombs being dropped and bullets entering people, or what it's like to not be able to go to sleep because of those noises, and i certainly do not know what it's like to give up all material wealth for the sake of those people.
Those people who choose to live without wealth and sit in silence for their cause are the strongest people i have heard about, to be like them is just a fairy tale or a far stretched out version of my over excited imagination, i am not even sure i am worthy of talking about them.
It's at times like this when i realise how words like "genius" "spiritual" and "passion" are massively over used and missdirected.
Day 176 of OU studies
A fresh start to life as the morning rolls around again. The last few days have moved from that of uncomfortableness to having to check if i still have a pulse. I have spent time alone, reflecting on life as it is right now. It's at times like this when i remind myself that things could always be worse, i love, and i am loved, i have food, warmth and shelter. I try to convince myself i am not a material man and yet i am storing my material items in a place where they are safe so if the worst does come to the worst i will be able to have them to help me rebuild. Surly if i were not a material man then i would not be holding on to these items and feeling loss at the first hint of being without them.
I guess it is times like this when i realise that spirituality is way more than me saying "i believe in buddha" or "i do yoga" and "i meditate" or "i practise mindfulness", when the reality is, i am no more spiritual than i allow my mind to convince myself i am. The monks of Tibet or the Swami's of India openly choose to live without wealth or pocces material items, how easy was it for me to say "live without wealth or pocces material items", they are true masters of their minds and life, i am gathering my items like they are my body parts and storing them, in the hope that one day i can be reunited with them, how is that spiritual? That's as opposite to spiritual as i can get.
It's a joke that i could even think that i am comparable to those guys, never mind actually comparing myself to them, i am an over privileged man from the western world who lives in a society that has given him all he has ever needed an so much more, i have used it and abused it and held my hand out for more, i have no idea what it's like to have to walk for dirty water, i have no idea what it's like for my government to want to kill me, i have no idea what it's like to wake up to the sound of bombs being dropped and bullets entering people, or what it's like to not be able to go to sleep because of those noises, and i certainly do not know what it's like to give up all material wealth for the sake of those people.
Those people who choose to live without wealth and sit in silence for their cause are the strongest people i have heard about, to be like them is just a fairy tale or a far stretched out version of my over excited imagination, i am not even sure i am worthy of talking about them.
It's at times like this when i realise how words like "genius" "spiritual" and "passion" are massively over used and missdirected.
WWG1WGA